Rock Star?

It's time for the 2nd installment of my 3 Day walk weekend...which started 2 days before we actually began walking.  I flew out to Texas on Wednesday morning bright & early so I could have a full day with my BFF before the rest of the team arrived.  In my mind I envisioned us sitting on her backyard patio drinking wine, munching on snacks & having similar conversations to the ones we have each morning on the phone.  BUT, C had something else in mind...and from the moment I stepped off the plane at 9:15am CST, it was a whirlwind of activity.

Our first stop on the way home from the airport was to get brunch at one of my FAVORITE restaurants from back home, Cracker Barrel.  We ran a couple errands and next was wine-thirty at C's favorite wine bar, D'vine Wine.  From there we walked 2 doors down to the hair salon, Serendipity, where she'd scheduled an appointment for me with Danielle.  All I knew was she had done some website work & had a credit for me & her to each get our hair done.  I figured she just didn't want to walk 60 miles with me & my terrible roots. ;)  I had no idea what the ultimate plan was....

While at the salon, I met the genius behind Tiffie Sleeves, Tiffany, before she headed off to NJ for a class reunion.  I have to note at this point that everywhere we went--with the exception of Cracker Barrel--C introduced me to someone who KNEW me & wanted to hug me.  It was a weird feeling.  And while Danielle was foiling my roots to take away my "trailer trash" look I'd been sporting, I got the feeling this day wasn't even close to ending...

After Danielle washed, dried & styled my hair, she inserted the pink extension to match C & then pulled out makeup.  She said "I have been instructed to make you look hot."  Um........

I had airbrush makeup applied & since it was about 3pm & 12 hours after I had woken, I was starting to drag.  While my eyes were shut during makeup application, I got a whiff of something REALLY yummy.  When I opened my eyes, C was standing by my side with not only my favorite Dr. Pepper, but also homemade potato chips & dip to "perk me up".  Why yes...I could get used to this treatment. 

We left the salon to pick up some Chinese food for dinner & headed back to C's house.  Now my head is kinda spinning.  What's going to happen next?  I am sitting there in my hoodie with my rock star hair & makeup eating take out Chinese with C's amazing family.  There's gotta be more to this story....

Then the doorbell rang.  And enter Brooke.  Again, someone who knows me.  C & Brooke escape to the garage.  What?  Enter Tamara.  And she's carrying a sword?  What? What?  The next little bit involves the tall hubby & tall son draping dark curtains over the garage door to create a backdrop.  Then the wine is poured & the instructions for all boys to stay out of the garage.  Hmmmm.....

Now, my new favorite saying is "what happens in the garage, stays in the garage", but you all have seen the pictures.  What happened next is kind of a blur.  I wish I'd been more awake & had more time to mentally prepare for the following photo shoot so I could really savor every moment of it.  Fortunately we have some really fantastic shots to serve as reminders & the memories are priceless.

So, some of you have asked about the sword.  Let me backtrack a bit...Brooke is a DFW photographer with Maddiepie Creations & if you live in the area you should most certainly look her up!  She does incredible work!  But Tamara & C put together the shoot to give me a chance to feel empowered as a survivor.  It goes like this....Tamara's sister Tiffany started her business Tiffie Sleeves & took these pictures with a famous photographer & her sword to represent her strength in her independence & taking the leap of faith to start a business on her own.  Our shoot involved the sword also as a representation of strength as a survivor.  I am not one who does well when the spotlight is on me, even figuratively, so to be standing there with the lights on me & the camera flashing with people watching me, it was a little uncomfortable.  Pam even joined us for the shoot & while again, I had never met her, she insisted that we hug because she knew all about me. 

In the end, the women welcomed me into their circle of friendship & success.  They are all a positive force who encourage each other to be better than they think they can be--in life & business.  I don't know yet WHY they were brought into my life, but I know something big will come of all of this.  Something more than just some pictures.  I am soooooo blessed to have them in my life & know they have helped me grow in ways I cannot even put into words.

Pam, Tamara & Tamara's girls came to cheer us on during Day 2 lunch!

Back to the pictures...Tiff wanted to know what I saw in my reflection of the blade in this photo.

Well, I have obviously looked at the images a great many times (Thank you again, Brooke, you're amazing!).  I saw a reflection of a someone who is ready to put the cancer in the past & start living the good life AFTER cancer...taking advantage of all there is!  Here's what the photos did for me--they allowed me to feel beautiful again.  And more than just pretty...but beautiful.  My husband says "that's the way I see you everyday" & what a wonderful thing for him to say.  But when you have your breasts removed from your body, there is a piece of being a woman that is taken from you.  I am not a vain person about my looks, but my first mastectomy was really difficult for me.  Even though I had implants & didn't look terrible when dressed, I knew my chest looked like a piece of skin over 2 water balloons when I was naked.  I didn't take off my shirt in front of my husband for 2 years.  I never had my nipples recreated because I got pregnant so soon & then having 2 girls & an infant, it was not on the top of my priority list.  Then, the surgeries started all over again....and it was a horrible process.  My dear friend Heather said it best when we were talking about the process in Texas.  She said when she saw my first pics after the cancer removal surgery May 2009 & what my right breast looked like after doing the skin removal & stomach surgery, she knew this was going to be a long road.  And it has been.  I have beautiful boobies now, if I do say so myself. :)  But they are covered in scars that still make me feel a little like Frankenstein.  And that photo shoot....well, it took away the insecurities.  It made me feel like a complete woman.  The reactions of these women who had JUST met me showed me what others see...even when my shirt is not hiding the scars.  The reactions of my friends & family to the pics on Facebook show me that I should probably wear makeup more often & my ball cap LESS often! :)

And here's the thing...I don't want to be defined by my cancer.  But I believe that I am a survivor for a reason.  And what these women did for me on that Wednesday--with something as simple as a can of hairspray & a camera--is something that all survivors can benefit from!  This chapter of my life is just beginning...there's so much more to come!  Cancer diagnosis has not declined with all the research we're funding--in fact, we're diagnosing women with breast cancer earlier & earlier.  This is saving lives so deaths are declining but survivors are increasing!  Life after cancer?  Yes...

Stay tuned....

The Rodeo

This really isn't about a rodeo with cowboys & barrel racing...but it's about *my* rodeo--and the fact that it wasn't my first one.

Just to recap for those who don't remember or never heard the story--I had my 9 pound baby boy on Nov 4, 2007.   My friend, A, had started her certification to become a personal trainer so she asked if I would be her "guinea pig" and start a routine workout schedule with her in 2008.  I said yes, but I also wanted to train for the Breast Cancer 3 Day walk that I had signed up for in October 2008.  That's when my *rodeo* began.

In the span of less than 18 months I had been diagnosed with DCIS breast cancer, had a bilateral mastectomy, reconstruction with implants, lost my best friend unexpectedly to a complication to diabetes,  found out I was pregnant, and carried & delivered a healthy 9 pound baby boy.  It was a whirlwind.  I had emotions I couldn't process.  I was ready to make a statement.  Walking 60 miles in 3 days seemed like a good start for me.

When I asked my friend A to walk with me, she didn't hesitate.  We both signed up & started the task of raising money.  We sent emails, we planned events, we started training physically.  In the process of asking for our friends & family to help us financially, we had friends ask US if they could walk WITH us.  Really?  People wanted to commit to walking 60 miles AND raise $2300 over then next 10 months WITH us?  BRING IT!  Our team started to grow.  And in October of 2008, the Pink Ladies, walked in the Washington DC Breast Cancer 3 Day--8 strong.  It was emotional.  I had friends fly up from Florida just so they could make the journey by my side.  My husband brought my 3 children down to the middle of DC on the final day--with signs--to cheer us on.  My little guy was not even a year old yet.  We did it.  We made a statement.  It was NOT easy.  But we felt like we'd done what we were meant to do & it gave me a chance to find peace with the unresolved emotions I had from the diagnosis of 2006.

My team--The Pink Ladies--took on the streets of DC in October 2008.

Don't you just wanna kiss those cheeks!?!?

My incredible family--brought tears to my eyes on Day 3 of our emotional first walk.

Fast Forward about 1 month from the end of the walk.  My feet have recovered.  Joel has just returned from a 2 week tour with the band.  I feel a lump.  On November 5, 2008, I spent 7 hours at the hospital having test after test to confirm that the cancer had returned.  Not long after that hospital visit, I got an email from the event coordinators asking me to sign up for the 3 Day walk in 2009.  Just a month before I was complete with having finished the journey once.  But there was unsettled business now that this *bitch* had returned & I felt a need to sign up again.  I sent an email to my team--who also was at peace with not walking again--and gave them the news of the lump & my decision to walk again.  I assured them that this was even more personal now and I would in NO WAY be hurt if they didn't want to walk again.  But.....

Team Candies for the Cure--Washington DC 2009

....they started signing up!  Again, my friends from FL flew up.  We had 2 new members join the team & we even had some who did CREW & took care of us that year.  Joel was away at school for 6 weeks, I got my period, I was in the midst of surgeries with one looming the following month & we were walking 60 miles in 3 days.  2009 was emotional for many additional reasons. But we did it--and we GAINED a new friend & team member that year.

My girls--the reason I walk!

I went home feeling like I had done what I needed to do.  I was at peace...again.

BUT, then I got an email...from a college marching band buddy, Hilary.  She had just completed the Chicago 3Day in 2009 with her sister, only weeks after finishing chemo for her breast cancer.  She was thinking of walking in San Diego in 2010 and wondered if my team might want to join her.  Ahhhhhhh.....HILARY!  Pass up a chance to walk into the closing ceremonies arm in arm with a dear friend who is also a survivor sister?  Well.....

Jenny's Army of Angels took off for San Diego California in November 2010!  And we did  it...again!!

It was so special getting to walk with Hilary into the closing ceremonies--first time seeing each other in over 12 years!

No really...this time I'm DONE.  There's no other way for me to express myself with the 3 Day!  BUT...my husband decided to walk with me in 2011.  And my BFF asked us to come to Dallas so she could walk with us too.  Here's the thing.  When someone is diagnosed with breast cancer, it doesn't just affect the patient.  It's a family ordeal.  My husband was at every appointment.  He drove me to & from every surgery.  He slept in a chair by my bedside in the hospital for 8 nights, so I would not have to wake up alone.  He emptied my drains, gave me baths, cooked me meals--even drove around late one night to find me hush puppies because I had a craving, kept the kids out of my way, held my hand, wiped my tears, calmed my fears.  And now this man wanted to experience my *rodeo*.  So.......

He packed up his "ta-ta" shirts & we took off for Dallas.

My entire Army of Angels flew out to Dallas for a final walk together.  Four were new, 5 of us veteran walkers.
What an amazing team of support & friendship!

Day 3 with my Angel.

Here we are a week later.  My feet feel great.  My body is recovered.  My heart is full.  I feel complete.  I am certain that I have accomplished all that I was meant to with the Breast Cancer 3 Day.  My journey with this event has come to an end.  I have asked for support for 4 years--from friends & family in the way of fundraising & prayer...and that support will never go unrecognized.  I could not have had a successful 240 mile journey over the last 4 years without everyone in my life.  Even though this was not my first *rodeo*, it is my last.  I love what this walk did for me.  I love that every fall I got to see friends from all over the country come together for one cause.  The cause is not gone.  The cause is not forgotten.  This 4 year journey will hold a very special place in my heart always...

But it's time to move on.  I have other things I feel called to focus on in the fight against cancer.  Stay tuned--I'm not done.  I will still need you.  But, my walking shoes have been retired...for now......

Birthday Babies

I missed my middle child & baby boy's birthdays while I was out of town walking 60 miles. So while I have  many things to blog about from the past week, I wanted to pop in & wish them each a very special birthday!

My Josie Mae (aka Momma's Love Bug) turned 7 on November 5.

Big Sister Jackie holding our peanut, Josie Mae, when she was only 1 day old.

Sweet 7 year old Love Bug

And then that sweet little boy of mine, Jamison (aka Bubba or Momma's Punkin' Pie).  He came into our world the day before Josie turned 3.  And she SO wanted a little sister....not that it's kept her from treating him like a girl.  You should see his fingernails today!

Big Sister Josie feeding Baby Bubba when he was 1 day old.

Jamison hard at work--my Big 4 Year Old Boy.

This has been a big week at our house--2 birthdays, Grandpa came to town, Mom & Dad walked 60 miles for breast cancer....whew!

Here's to another year!  Happy Birthday, Josie Mae & Jamison!