Tuesday, July 3, 2012

What Would You Say?

So my kids left town with Memaw.  It's been 11 days.  The two weeks leading up to their departure I was in full-on panic mode.  Yes, I love breaks from my children.  I adore alone time with my hunny.  But, I've been working from home full time, around my kids, for 7 years.  They're my JOB.  We didn't have plans to go away because Joey was still working so being in the house that usually has 5 people for 2 weeks with only 2 people was an unfamiliar thought to me.  Day 1 was rough.  Josie was weepy when they pulled out of the driveway.  I worried about them on the road all day.  Joel had an abnormal full day of work which left me to sit & wallow alone.  After they were safely in bed at Memaw's that night, my tension eased & the kids have been having so much fun that I've been able to really enjoy having the time to do my own thing for the last 10 days!

In addition to cleaning & organizing & sleeping & eating junk food & watching movies that have been on our DVR since LAST summer, we took a weekend trip to Philadelphia just to goof off. During our trip we were approached by a group of gals out on the town for a bachelorette party.  We were standing by the *LOVE* sign downtown, waiting our turn in line to get a picture when one of the girls said, "Excuse me.  Are you two married?"  Note--this is where, later, I told Joey I wish I had thought quickly enough to say "Yes...but not to each other.  Shhhh..." But I didn't.  Instead, we both said, "Yes??"  You know like, WHY?  Are we gonna be part of some crazy bachelorette dare if we are?  So, the cute blonde says, "Great, my sister over there is getting married in one month & we're wondering if you could give her your best marriage advice?"  Uh........all the girls (there are probably 10-12 of them) get closer to hear our wise words.....and she says "If you want some time to think about it, would you mind taking our picture?"  Joel says, "Sure, if you'll take ours?" 

So, while the girls are getting set up under the sign for their picture, Joey says, "What advice are YOU gonna give them?"  I joked, "Probably don't do it!"  And he laughed, "That's a good one....but seriously what are you gonna say?" 
This man is the love of my life. 


After picture taking was complete, the girls stood patiently waiting for our advice.  I offered that if/when she has children, to always put her marriage first--make time for each other always.  We shared that our 3 children were off visiting grandparents in MO while we were enjoying a weekend alone.  They liked that.  Whew, I passed!  Then it was Joel's turn.  I laughed and said "You can't say Don't Do it."  And the sister of the bride said "Actually, that was the advice of the very first person we asked tonight!  No Joke!"  Eeeek!  And he said, "No, I say keep the lines of communication open."  Whew, they liked that one too!  Yay us!

So, then we went off to dinner.  But while we were sitting at dinner, we couldn't stop talking about the advice.  Well, actually, it went like this...

Me:  Do you really feel like we do a good job of keeping the lines of communication open?
Joey:  Yes, you sure do.

Yeah, exactly.  I talk.  Joey smiles & nods.  But hey, it works for us. 

And while *I* couldn't stop talking about the advice, I kept thinking of others I wish I'd said. Joey just kept nodding & agreeing with me.  So it was OUR kind of communicating.  Here are a couple that we thought of later...

*Make sure you have a boyfriend & he has a girlfriend.  BUT, make sure your spouse is friends with said boy/girl friend.  Otherwise, it just won't work right...
*Remember that your vows are a promise, not a suggestion.  Not sure you can keep that promise?  Then don't get married.
*Being married doesn't mean you have to stop having sex.  In fact, have lots of it! Just remember to have it with the person you married.
*Back to the one I did share--always make time for each other.  We don't have much money.  But we're rich with time together.  It's a sacrifice we've made so that we can keep our relationship & family unit strong.  And when we see couples who have been married 40, 50+ years, we don't *hope* we'll make it that long...we know we will. 

I don't know that bride's name.  I don't know when or where she's getting married.  But I wish her & her new husband the best of luck in their new adventure thru life together!