Happiness

I was driving in the car with my girls the other night when we noticed the beautiful full moon.  Josie says, "Momma, I can't decide if I want to be an astronaut or a farmer when I grow up.  What do you think I should be?" 

I answered as simply as I could, "You should be whatever makes you happy."

My Happiness

I don't remember having long, in depth conversations with my parents about my future & what I wanted to be when I grew up.  For as long as I can remember, I just always knew I wanted & would be a teacher.  I would sneak into my mom's closet & slip on her high heeled shoes pretending to be a teacher in our basement.  I loved the sound the clippy cloppy made on the concrete floor & reminded me of being in class.  In high school I participated in after school programs in the elementary schools working with at-risk youth.  In college, my job list included 3 different day care centers.  I loved being a teacher & I was really good at it.  It made me happy for several years. 

But then I had Jackie & what made me happy changed.  I think that's ok.  I believe it takes a brave person to stop mid-career & make a bold change for the sake of happiness.  My choice has maybe not paid us as well as continuing my teaching career, but if I had it to do all over, I'd do the same thing.

That's the funny thing about happiness.  Only you can figure out how to make it for yourself & truly money can't buy it for you.  Be brave.  Be bold.  Be Happy!

YAY Daddy!

Joel narrowly missed passing his military fitness test last fall by a couple of sit ups.  It seemed so silly because he can literally run circles around me & is in really great shape.  So when he came home & told me, he had a great sense of humor about it.  Not passing meant he would have to attend a class about nutrition & being healthy.  He jokingly named it "Fat Camp". 

This month Joel got to retake his fitness test & at dinner that night he had a celebratory glass of wine.  Jackie asked him what he was celebrating & he said, "Well, I passed my fitness test at work."  Jackie jumped up in her chair, started clapping and immediately shouted "YAY DADDY, no more FAT CAMP!"  I laughed the best laugh! 

Yep, you can't keep a thing in the world from your kids--they hear everything you say & watch everything you do!  I hope the good stuff sticks!

You Will Reach the Top

Once upon a time there was a bunch of tiny frogs.... who arranged a running competition.

The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower.

A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants....

The race began....

Honestly:

No one in crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower.
You heard statements such as:

"Oh, WAY too difficult!!"

"They will NEVER make it to the top."

or:

"Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!"



The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one....
Except for those, who in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher....

The crowd continued to yell,  "It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!"
More tiny frogs got tired and gave up....

But ONE continued higher and higher and higher....

This one wouldn't give up!




At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog who, after a big effort, was the only one who reached the top!
THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it?



A contestant asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal?
It turned out....

That the winner was DEAF!!!!





The wisdom of this story is:

Never listen to other people's tendencies to be

negative or pessimistic....  because they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you -- the ones you have in your heart!
Always think of the power words have.

Because everything you hear and read will affect your actions!
Therefore:
ALWAYS be....

POSITIVE!
And above all:

Be DEAF when people tell YOU that you cannot fulfill your dreams!!

In two days tomorrow will be yesterday.

Dress Up

We had big plans for the 4 day weekend.  Jackie had horse riding camp all day Friday, Josie had a friend coming over for a play date, Aunt Gina was possibly coming to town...and then Thursday night Jackie woke up sick & everything had to be cancelled.  While Jackie was incredibly heartbroken to miss her camp, it was harder for Josie to understand why she couldn't still have her friend over since SHE wasn't the one who was sick.  As an alternate plan, I told her I would do makeup with her later in the day.  This was ALMOST as good as having a play date as Josie is my girly girl & loves to dress up and do makeup. 

So, after getting sidetracked several times, we finally sat down in the afternoon and I let her use my makeup & her own to make me beautiful...



We started with some mineral foundation.




She chose a very pretty blue for my eyes.

 The cutest part was her going through my makeup bag asking me what everything was used for.  She picked up my concealer & opened it.  "What's this, Mommy?"   When I told her it was concealer, she asked me how you use it.  I told her it was for blemishes--to hide them.  She, of course, asked what a blemish was.  Lucky for her, I had a few to show her!  "It's an imperfection of your skin that you don't want people to notice."  She started brushing the concealer on my forehead (Maybe to hide my wrinkles? I'm not sure?).  Then she moved to my cheek & finally she looked at my chin & declared "OOOh, here's one we definitely need to cover up!"  Thanks kid. 


The finished product--complete with Josie's favorite ice pink lip gloss.

What started out a little stressful with a sick Ms. Jackie turned out to be a pretty fun day being pampered by the Jos-meister.  I don't have pics, but she even painted my toes for me later!

Friggin' Noodles..

Joey claims that I have a potty mouth.  And....he's right.  But I try REALLY hard not to say things in front of the kids...or at least modify my verbage.  So I've noticed my sweet boy has been really paying attention to me.  Last week he was attempting to get his pjs off in the bathroom when the zipper got stuck & he started yelling "Friggin' zipper!"  I was in my bedroom & just had to laugh! 

So friggin' cute!



Then earlier this week while Joel was very sick in bed, I was searching the fridge for some lunch to feed Jamison.  He'd also been sick the night before so I wanted something gentle for his stomach as opposed to the hot dog he was insisting I make him.  (Been there.  Done that.  Hot dogs are NOT fun to clean up!)  I knew we had some cooked noodles in the fridge from the girls' lunches the week before, but I couldn't find them.  Under my breath I said, "Where in the world are the friggin' noodles?"  To which Jamison answered "Let me go ask Daddy."  Before I could catch up to him, he had burst into my bedroom where Joel was sleeping & questioned, "Daddy!  WHERE are the friggin' noodles?!?!"  Again, I couldn't contain my giggles, though Joel didn't think it so funny to be woken up by a 3yr old sailor. 
So, I admit, I need to come up with better adjectives.   But it could be worse.....

Mornings...

I used to be a morning person, I swear!  But, something happened...and now I am so NOT.  I found this travel coffee mug last summer at Disney World and it screamed at me.  I use it almost everyday now.

Jackie even wrote me a song about my mornings.  I wish I had the audio of her singing it, but here are the words...

Mornings aren't magical.  Mornings aren't magical.

You have to get up so early.

And it's so annoying cause you know what I'm gonna say...

Mornings aren't magical!

For those of you who can relate, I hope you enjoy & know there are other non-morning folks suffering right along beside you!

A Little Laugh...

Yesterday Jackie had a stomach bug & was in bed sick all day.  She had trouble keeping food down so everywhere she went she took a bucket with her.

As the girls were going to bed last night, Jackie was feeling much better but kept her bucket by the bed, just in case.  Josie started complaining that her tummy wasn't feeling well either.  I wasn't sure if she had gotten the bug Jackie had or if she was just saying it for attention.  So, I gave her a bucket of her own, but reminded her that if she got sick she wouldn't get to do anything fun over the weekend.  I figured that would determine if she was really feeling bad or not. 

A couple minutes later I walked past the girls' room & Josie said "Momma, I don't need this bucket anymore.  My tummy stopped hurting."  I smiled & said, "Are you sure?  You can keep it here, just in case."  I knew my little trick of withholding fun had worked on her faking a stomach ache.  She said "No, really, my tummy stopped hurting.  I just needed to toot."  Then that beautiful little thing flashed the cutest smile & I couldn't stop laughing.

Just Be Happy Now...

Facebook status of a college friend:

Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.

I will tell you that this is something I have truly embraced in recent years & I encourage everyone to do the same!  Life is too short......

My House

I love our house.  It's not new or fancy or huge.  But it's my J5 House.  And before it was our house, it was the house of the family who built it in 1978 & raised their family here.  I looked at this house with my mother-in-law, brother-in-law & a 18 month old Jackie Sue while pregnant with Josie.  Joel was working the day we went out with the realtor & when we stepped into this house, the sellers were just on their way out.  They met us & we learned that they were teachers moving to Virginia to be closer to their grown children & grandson who happened to be Jackie's age.  They also let our realtor know that while it was not yet reflected in the system, they had just spoken to their agent that morning and lowered their asking price on the home.  After seeing many homes that day, it was this one & one other that I wanted to show Joel. 

We put an offer in on our house the next morning & over the phone with their realtor the sellers accepted our offer.  Before they were able to meet & sign the paperwork, another offer came in & refelected the higher asking price.  They legally were able to take either offer.  Which one would YOU take?  The one that was $20,000 more?  Or the one that was from the adorable family of the teacher with kids the same age as your grandchildren?   As luck would have it, they picked us. 

On the day of the inspection Mrs. H. took me around the house and told me when she planted each tree & bush, what kind they were, how to care for them, etc.  They took us through the house & showed us everything we needed to know about the house.  We're very proud they picked us to raise our family in their house. 

Here were are 6 1/2 years later & many things in the house have changed.  We replaced the carpet in the family room, Joel finished the rest of the basement into 2 extra rooms--an office for me & a playroom for the children, Joel gutted our masterbath and tiled the whole room, we knocked out a wall between the dining room & kitchen to create one large kitchen area and Joel built a playset in the backyard.  Just last month we hired someone to cut down one of Mrs. H's trees that had grown in a way that threatened the neighbor's roof. 

The day the guys came to cut down the tree, I wondered outloud how in the WORLD they would be able to get the top branches down without dropping them on my house.  Josie watched out her bedroom window, just feet from the tree & said "Momma, if they drop the tree on the house, I'll let you know."  Thanks.:)

I just love our house.  And I love all the people who are in it...

Bless & Release

Jackie couldn't be any sweeter if she tried.  Now I say this with a smile because she certainly has her days where she tries my patience--behaving like I would expect her to behave when she's 16, but overall, she's just one heck of a girl.  So, yesterday my girl had a bad day at school.  For whatever reason, tho she IS Daddy's girl, Joel just irritates her at times like this & she finds it really difficult to be serious with him, so she asked to talk to me.

According to my 8 year old, her friends were being really "nasty" to her at school.  The school has "wizard wows" which are rewards for being good & you can use the little coupons each Wednesday to purchase things off the "Wizard Wow" cart.  My girl, being 8 in a 40 yr old body, has chosen to save her wizard wows for something big, like lunch with her teacher or the principal and she has not purchased ONE thing all year so far.  Yesterday, the girls in class saw her pile and started accusing her of stealing other people's wizard wows.  And, according to Jackie, they wouldn't believe her that she'd just saved them all year, calling her a liar.  When I asked her how that made her feel, she rolled her eyes and said, "Mom!  How would it make YOU feel?"  Well, duh. 

Anyway, we spent some time just talking about this and I gave her a few suggestions--tho she didn't like the one where I offered to just come sit next to her at school for the rest of the year.  In the end, I told her about "blessing & releasing".  I told her to be honest with them and tell them that she didn't steal them (like she already tried to explain) but if they don't want to believe her then she can't be friends with them right now.  And to move onto other children in the class that will make her feel good at the end of the day.   She seemed to like this idea. 

Did I give her the right advice?  Who knows...it's HARD being a mom, dangit! 

But, today is a snow day so she's home.  I hope, as 8 yr olds often do, these girls will have forgotten all about their accusations by the time they return to school tomorrow and all will be well in the 2nd grade.  But, if not, I wish my girl happiness in her heart as she works through the facts of life at school.  Seriously, why won't she just let me come sit by her everyday?

Funnies

I wanted to just share a couple funnies on this Monday morning--the things my kids say that just make me smile!

Let me set the scene:  I am home alone feeding the kids a delicious dinner of spaghettios & cucumbers on TV trays in the family room while talking on the phone with my dad.  (This was during kitchen remodel so we were avoiding the mess of that room)  I have given each child his or her plate of food & a juice box to drink, but I forgot to pass out the eating utensils and they were laying under a pile of napkins on the couch.  I'm a bit distracted as I am trying to do 15 things at once...

Jackie starts freaking out "I can't eat!  I can't eat my food!" 

Me:  "Why not?"

Jackie:  "I don't have any tupperware!"

Me:  "What?" 

Jackie:  "How am I supposed to ear my spaghettios with no tupperware?!?!"

Me:  "Silverware?"

Jackie:  "Oh yeah, silverware"


Scene 2: The 24/7 Christmas Song station is playing in the kitchen & we've been singing along all day.  The song Let It Snow comes on....

Josie (with huge eyes & a smile from ear to ear with excitement):  "I remember going to see this movie at the theater with Grandma & Grandpa!"

Me:  "We did see a movie at the theater with Grandma & Grandpa.  But it was Singing in the Rain."

Time

I don't usually buy the magazines at the grocery store checkout line, but yesterday I picked up People, with Elizabeth Edwards on the cover.  I brought it home & while the children played in their rooms & Joel was away at work I read it from cover to cover.  The five page article about Elizabeth Edward's battle with cancer made me sob.  What an amazing woman.  I haven't been able to get her out of my mind...

"The only thing we have control of is how you spend the time, that precious time."--Elizabeth Edwards, 2006

This morning my family piled into our bed & sang Christmas carols at the top of our lungs before we got up for breakfast.  It is my hope that during the hectic chaos of this holiday season each of you takes some precious time with your loved ones, doing something completely fun & memorable--and share it with me here!

What do YOU do?

I get this question everytime I meet someone new.  Now let me just start by saying that being a mom is a full time job.  It's a thankless job that does not pay NEARLY enough.  I knew when we found out that we were pregnant for the first time that Joel HAD to get a job so I could stay home with my baby.  As luck would have it, 4 short days after I peed on the stick, he got the DC gig.  I stayed home with Jackie for a year.  It was H.A.R.D!  Not only to be a new mom, but to get into a routine in a new town with a kid that did nothing but eat, sleep & poop.  I felt like I needed something more...for me.  So, that next fall I went back to work--first just to substitute as needed and as I wanted to.  But then I got a call that one of the elementary schools in the county needed an extra Kindergarten teacher.  And K. is where my heart is for teaching...so I took it.  It was fun, don't get me wrong.  But I drove 45 minutes to and from work every single day.  My first day of teaching was literally on Jackie's first birthday.  And then after 2 weeks of being back at work, my babysitter bailed on me.  I had to take several days off to find a new childcare situation.  The whole thing was a nightmare. 

Then I began working in the evenings and weekends with a company I had started shopping with over the summer before going back to teaching.  I did it from home, on my time and was paid for my efforts.  I enjoyed every minute of it and started hoping for snow days so I could work from home MORE!  Now I know that sometimes home businesses have a bad reputation--and there are many scams out there.  I've talked to more people who have been ripped off over the years & it's sad.  But I love what I do & after Josie came along, I quit teaching to pour all my efforts into my business.

It's challenging--to say the least--to get respect from certain people about what you do when you have your own home business.  I talk to complete strangers daily who don't know me, don't trust me, still have skepticism about what I'm telling them.  That rolls off my back because I really can't blame them.  However, it's those people you've known forever who don't respect what you do that kinda takes your breath away for a moment.  And I say a moment, because it really IS just for a moment.  I am confident about what I do and won't let anyone take that away from me. 

You see, I am still an educator.  And when I talk to people--friends, family, or complete strangers--I talk to them to help THEM.  It's truly about educating as many people as I can.  A stranger may not believe that of me right away and again, I can't really blame them.  They don't know me.  BUT if you DO know me and you still think I'm just talking to you to make a quick buck you are sorely mistaken.  I love providing a little extra income for my family.  I love driving a car that my company makes the car payments.  But I don't chase down my friends & family to only make a buck.  It's a genuine concern.  Just like when I was a teacher and I had a student who needed some extra help in school.  I didn't call the parents to schedule an appointment for a conference because it made ME more money or helped MY resume.  I called those parents in to educate them on the situation involving their child and what they do with that information was up to them--just like the information I share now. 

Now I'm rambling, on my soapbox.  Sorry...let me just say this.  It took guts for ME to quit teaching and pour my heart and soul into this business.  Joel & I have had many heart to hearts about this and he has been my #1 fan and supporter from Day 1.  If you have ever taken the time to let me share my company with you, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.  What you DO with that information is out of my control...but thank you for letting me educate you.  Fear of home based business is real because there ARE scams out there.  But if someone you know--someone you've known for YEARS--approaches you out of concern for you and your family, take the time to hear them out.  And if I personally happen to come to you--know this.  I am not going to chase you or try to convince you to do something you don't want to do.  If I have come to you & addressed a concern, I assure you it is genuine because I think I have a way to offer you a solution to some problem I've seen you having.

I've been able to help well over 600 families in the past 7+ years.  Some came to me because they wanted to make money and be home with their kids.  Some needed to find a solution to health issues their child or spouse was having.  I've talked to probably 5x's that many people but 600+ families found an answer here.  You can't find the answer if you don't look at all the options.

Perspective

Perspective:  a specific point of view in understanding or judging things or events.

This word has come to mind several times in the past 4 years.  This week it's one of Jackie's vocabulary words at school.  It amazes me that some people make it to adulthood with the "bubble" they live in & the things that actually come out of their mouths.  I guess it takes all kinds to make the world go round? 

Last summer I got a tattoo.  I honestly never wanted a tattoo.  But after my cancer journey decided it would be sometihng to serve as my "badge" of survival.  It was a gift to myself and I love it!

Just before I went to get it, I had someone say to me, "On your ankle?  That's gonna HURT!  Omygosh, are you sure you want it on your ankle?"  Hurt?  It's gonna hurt?  Let's get some perspective here--just weeks before this conversation I had my stomach cut from hip bone to hip bone and all the skin removed from my right breast, then replaced with the skin & tissue from my stomach.  I was in the hospital for 4 days, couldn't walk standing up straight for about 3 weeks and had 4 drains hanging from my breast and hips for 2 weeks.  A needle coloring on my ankle bone for 30 min is gonna HURT? 

I am also trying to gain an appropriate perspective going into my 60 mile walk next week.  I admit that I have lacked in training this year--I can give excuses, but I won't.  I am just not ready physically.  While talking with my team about blisters that we will most likely get within the first 5 miles (AHHHH!), I will have a mind over matter battle putting that "pain" into perspective.  Little J is still in the hospital undergoing treatment for her lukemia--she's been there for over 2 weeks now.  She's only 3 years old & being stuck with needles daily without a way to understand WHY (tho NONE of us can understand WHY).  When those blisters are bulging & the shin splints are screaming and my feet are cramping next weekend, I assure you that I will go further than I want to for little J.  She doesn't have a choice--neither will I.  

It's all about perspective. 

November 5

For the first 19 years of my life November 5 was just another day--one day closer to my favorite holiday, Thanksgiving.  Then I met my dear friend, A, my sophomore year of college and learned it was her birthday.  For the next 7 years it was the day I got to wish A a Happy Birthday.  In 2004, my lovebug, Josie Mae, came into the world on November 5.   Now she shared her birthday with someone I love so much--an amazing day!  In 2007, November 5 was the day after I gave birth to Bubba Boy and we celebrated Josie's 3rd birthday.  One year later, on November 5, my worst fears began to unfold. 

It was 2 years ago today.  Joel had been home from fall tour for a few days & I had found a lump.  How could I have POSSIBLY found a lump when I had a bilateral mastectomy & implants, you might wonder?  Well, it was there, in the skin.  And I saw my surgeon on November 5--Josie's 4th birthday.  First he claimed he couldn't find the lump and asked me to point it out.  Then he assured me it was scar tissue & did an ultrasound in the patient room.  But, he decided to send me to radiology for a better ultrasound and further testing--just to make sure.  He sent me off with these words "Either they'll tell you it's scar tissue and you need to come back in 6 months for your next checkup OR they'll tell you it's nothing.  I'll probably see you in 6 months!"  For the next 6 hours I went from ultrasound to needle biopsy to mammogram (yup, it was a "pinched" mammo where the poor tech had to hold my implant out of the way to get a visual of the lump...very interesting).  The radiologist who read my films that day was the same one who told me in June of 2006 to have my first lump removed.  She came into the room & I was reading a Women's Day magazine.  The look on her face told me all I needed to know.  She sent me back to my surgeon to schedule a biopsy.  I didn't need to wait the next 7 weeks for the biopsy results to find out--I knew that day. 

November 5, 2008 was just the beginning of our second cancer tour. November 5, 2010 has been a completely WONDERFUL day with cupcakes at school & a friend home on the bus, dinner out & ice cream sundaes for dessert.  It's amazing to me how one day can hold so many memories and meanings for you while giving you so many mixed emotions. 

November 5--Happy Birthday A & Josie Mae and thank you to the docs who spent so much time with me on this day 2 years ago to make sure I got the best advice possible so I can see many more November 5 in the future.