It's Official...

A couple weeks ago I had my annual GYN appointment & was weighed for the first time in about 6 months.  When I told Joey the number that appeared on that digital scale he assured me that it was broken.  Just 2 weeks later I went to my primary doc for strep throat & his scale, unfortunately, said the same number.  Ok, this was a reality that I didn't want to hit me.

Let me take you back--Jamison was born in Nov 2007 and in February 2008 I started working out with a personal trainer 2-3 times a week.  I didn't lose alot of weight but I was proud to wear a tank top.  In October of 2008 I walked my first Breast Cancer 3Day--60 miles of walking over 3 days.  Just weeks later we found out the cancer was back.  Over the course of 2009 I had 2 big surgeries that resulted in many pounds lost just because I couldn't eat for days at a time.  When 2010 came around I was ready to get back into a workout routine.  Instead this was my year...

January=workout routine begins...
February=outpatient surgery with 6 weeks of restricted lifting & colonoscopy
March=emergency room trip for kidney stones with 3+ weeks of vicodin & procedures to help pass the 7mm stone
April=Joey on tour--let me tell you that working out with Jamison in the house alone with me is as productive as spelling out an SOS on a deserted beach with extra strands of my own hair and oh yeah, I fell down the steps the first week he was gone and messed up my foot.
May=outpatient surgery with 6 weeks restricted lifting & xray/MRI to see why my foot isn't getting better
June=restricted from walking on foot because of bruised bone
July=vacation/SOME working out
August=convention/SOME working out
September=outpatient surgery with 6 weeks restricted lifting
October=Joey on tour
November=walked 60 miles in San Diego
December=Christmas

So, to some, this may look like a list of excuses.  And I will admit that YES, that's exactly what it is.  I will make every excuse not to exercise because I have to be doing it long enough to feel like I'm getting results before I start to enjoy it and WANT to do it.  I don't like it. 

So, this brings me back to the last doc appointment last week and the number on the scale.  I came home and caught a glimpse of my backside in the mirror while getting ready for my shower.  I immediately apologized to my husband.  And made a decision.  I have been pretty good in 2011 about working out 2-3 times a week here at home.  And I can already get through a workout and know I'm not laboring as much as I did 6 weeks ago--this is a good thing for me & my motivation.  But I decided to take it a bit further.  My surgeries are over--done, gone, complete!  YAY!  SO, I got an email for a Cancer to 5K program for young adult survivors.  And I signed up.  I am in NO way a runner.  I was consistently the VERY LAST girl in gym class in high school to finish the mile run every year & I'd rather walk 20 miles a day, 3 days in a row than to take it to a jog....but now I'm officially part of the team. 

I'm nervous & excited & just a weeny bit wigged out by all of it.  But there is a personal coach who will provide training and support for 12 weeks--until the dreaded day of the June 5 at the Capital Crescent 5K in Bethesda.  My sweet, supportive and in-much-better-shape hubby has even offered to join me in the run in June.  I've walked 60 miles in 3 days--3 times.  I think my feet will be ready for it....someone just needs to have a talk with the rest of my body!  Oy! 

So, I'll keep you posted as the training begins in just 2 weeks...wish me luck!


 

My Girls

On our way home from Jackie's all-day camp at the farm, I told her she needed to take a shower because I was sure she was smelly.  Josie said, "I'm gonna live on a farm, so I need to get used to that smell."  So I asked if they might live on the same farm, knowing that Jackie will probably have a zoo.  I looked back in my rear view mirror as I asked & Jackie wrinkled up her nose and shook her head no.  Josie said, "No because then we'd have to be married."  

After I explained that they could each have their own house on the same farm, the conversation switched to Josie's house.  So, I asked if I would get my own room.  Jackie said I could stay in her guest room, but Josie assured me I could have my very own room at HER house.  This made me smile.  Then Josie informed us that when Jamison came over he could just sleep with her.  I asked if she would have a husband & she said yes.  I asked where her husband would sleep.  She said, "He'll sleep in the bed with me.  Jamison can sleep on the floor in my room."  Uh, ok.  Then she went on..."And Daddy can sleep in the floor of my room too."  Jackie said, "Daddy can just sleep with Mom."  And Josie quickly responded, "But MOM said she wanted her OWN room!"  Silence--except for my giggles.  Then Josie says, "Well, I guess Daddy can sleep on the floor in Mommy's room."  

Ah, I love my girls.  At least I know they've always got my back!

Halloween 2010--Glad these scary little creatures are on my good side!

Mid-Storm...

I was looking through some old pics tonight--I was actually searching for something specific.  But I ran across some pictures my Dad took on a visit to our house back in the fall of 2006.  It was just a couple of weeks after my bilateral mastectomy.  I was mid-treatment or "mid-storm" of our first cancer journey.  He came to give me a hand with the girls for a few days & we did some playing around while he was here.  The girls are SO small & the boy wasn't even a thought yet.  We had no idea at that point if we could have anymore children. 

I often think back to that 6 months following the first diagnosis & it's all a blur.  I can't remember very much about it besides the surgeries & doctors appointments.

What I love about these pictures is the smiles. 

And I think I wanted to share them this way because they are a sign to me that we didn't let the diagnosis get in the way of our living during that 6 months.  When my girls look back on these last 4 years, they are bound to remember the many hospital trips & the weeks of recovery where someone was constantly warning them to watch out for Momma's boo-boos.  But I'm reassured by these pictures that those memories will not be the ones in front, as we sure didn't let it stop us. 

It was a journey.  We're almost at the end.  I'm glad I had this team of little Js & my very biggest fan,

 Daddy J, by my side through it all.  And look...we're STILL smilin'.

Success...

Success is waking up in the morning, whoever you are, wherever you are, however old or young, and bounding out of bed because there's something out there that you love to do, that you believe in, that you're good at--something that's bigger than you are, and you can hardly wait to get at it again today.

 --Whit Hobbs

Valentine's Day Yummies

My amazing friend, Katie, has this incredible food blog.  And it makes me drool every time I read an entry.  Not only is she a busy attorney who finds time to do marathons with her equally awesome husband, but she also bakes yummy goodness FROM SCRATCH on a regular basis to share with friends & family.  And this blog isn't just a list of ingredients--she has mouth-watering pictures & fun stories to go with each recipe.

Now, I am NOT Betty Crocker, but I can make a mean ice cream crunch (thanks to clique weekend 2001 & dear friend Meredith!)  And ice cream crunch is my "go to" when I'm invited to dinner & asked to bring dessert. However, this weekend we had two dinner dates with family friends & didn't feel like ice cream was either an appropriate February dessert or very Valentine-y.  SO, I went on a search for something online that would be easy enough for me, but still kid friendly & fun.  After looking for about 45 minutes, I settled onto Katie's blog for some inspiration.  I came upon her recipe titled "Mint Oreo Cupcakes and Uh, Laziness" and I knew I found the winner.

You can view this recipe on her blog & the beautiful pics she took of HER masterpiece.  Honestly, she makes me feel a tad inadequate as a woman, but she can't help it.:)  And it's why we love her so much!

I changed up the recipe just a bit as Katie did hers for the holidays & went with a red/green theme.  Using the same red velvet cake mix, I just chose to put some red food coloring into my icing rather than the green she used.  We ended up with a lovely pink/red for Valentine's Day which was a hit.

You might have noticed the title was "Mint Oreo Cupcakes" & Joel so kindly stopped eating long enough to allow me to snap a view of the yummy layered goodness.  If you happen to peek at Katie's pictures on HER blog, her husband must eat a little neater because there was just no getting around the mess of this at my house.  

Saturday evening we had our 3rd Annual Valentine Dinner with our friends, The Heyers. 

As you can see, all of us enjoyed the end result.  While not as professional looking as the originals that I had for inspiration, I am very proud of our treat.  It was my first attempt at the swirly icing on top & rather than try to shave chocolate, I opted for "pearl" sprinkles I had in the cabinet to add a touch of "fancy" to our version.

It was a very lovely Valentine's Dinner & you can click on Katie's link above to get the actual recipe. I followed it exactly except for the food coloring color I added to my icing.  And take a look around--if you're braver than me, there are certainly some YUMMY recipes that I wish I had the nerve to try for myself.  

Thank you, Ms. Katie--thanks to you, we had a delicious Valentine's treat enjoyed by ALL!

Peace

I close my eyes & I begin to flow, peace is mine & is all I know. 


--Lisa Kitter

Books, Books, Books...

My cowgirl loves to ride horses and her #1 favorite place to be is the BARN, but her 2nd favorite place is the Library.  I love that my girl loves to read.  But I'm finding it hard to keep up with her.  She reads lots of books--BIG books--and she truly comprehends them.  After the holiday break in first grade Jackie mentioned to her teacher that she'd just finished reading the 2nd Harry Potter book.  She got a smile and then the teacher decided to give her the reading comprehension test for both Book 1 & 2 to see what she comprehended.  She was surprised when Jackie got a 90% on each test.  At the end of the year I met with her teacher for some recommendations on books to have her reading over the summer that were age appropriate.  She said she had to stop with the tests to see what level she was reading at because the tests themselves were inappropriate for her age at the higher levels.

So, I write about this both to brag (because that's what moms do) & to explain my dilemma.  We have an 8 year old that would rather read than anything else if she can't be riding the horses.  But she's a reading machine!  I took her to the library on a Thursday night & had her check out 10 chapter books to keep her busy for the next 3 weeks.  She was done with them in less than 2.

Today she brought home a grade for her morning journal "check"--she got 9 out of 10.  She did everything right--name, title, 5 or more sentences, punctuation, capitilization, but she missed 1 point for NEATNESS.  When I asked her why she said "Mom, I'm sorry, but I get it done really fast so I can read."  Trying to explain how her other school subjects can't be rushed just so she has more time to read caused her to get very defensive & start to tear up.  How in the WORLD do you explain this to a child without making them feel BAD for wanting to READ!??!  How many parents would give anything for their child to miss a point for neatness so they could READ!?!?  So it's not that I'm angry with her or disappointed, which I tried to explain, but also want her to not let other things suffer for her love of reading...

SO, tonight we took a flying trip to the library to stock up again.  The librarian smiled at Jackie when she saw the 14 chapter books we were checking out and told her it was very ambitious of her to finish them in the 3 week lending period.  To many, I look like a crazy woman letting this child check out that many books.  I look like the mom who isn't setting a realistic expectation for my child.  But I assure you that it won't be a problem for her.

Here's a picture of her pile & her in the background reading Book #1 (which she DID finish in the hour & 1/2 she spent reading while I was getting dinner ready...it was 137 page book).  Oh & did I mention she reads them ALL out loud--so it takes her even longer because she's reading it out loud & not to herself.  But it's her thing. 

So, she's pretty incredible. I'm a lucky mom.  And I'm on my 2nd book since Christmas--kinda the same?  No?

Where do You Live?

Young people live in the future.

Old people live in the past.

Wise people live in the present.

Momma's Boy

There's just something about mommas & their boys, right?  It's no different for me & my favorite boy. 

I don't know that we'll ever get that potty training business out of the way.  And I'm convinced he'll be proposing to his girlfriend with his binky instead of a diamond (thanks for putting THAT thought in my head, Angie--ha!).  He may even have to make room for his Mickey Roary in his suitcase on his honeymoon!  But, I can look past it all everytime he flashes that big ol' smile & asks me to pick him up and dance or sing the Sunshine song to him one more time. 

Yep, there's something about this momma & her boy...

Exciting!

I don't know if you heard about the horrible traffic woes of the DC area on Wednesday evening due to sudden snow right at rush hour?  Well, it was somethin' & luckily we were all home & didn't get caught up in it.  Well...let me say we all ended up home safe & sound, but Joel & Josie DID get a little "caught up" for a bit.  Josie had an eye appointment that Joel took her to & on their way home it started sleeting.  Then, according to Joel, they just started driving into a wall of snow.  When they got closer to our house they took the back way coming home by a 2 lane blacktop road, instead of taking the highway through town.  Joel said he couldn't even see the road & since it was dark and the snow was swirling, he was having a hard time not getting disoriented.  And when I asked him WHY he chose to take this back road instead of coming through town where there are more cars & lights, he said "that wouldn't have been as exciting!"

Which takes me back to another time when we had a conversation much like this one...it was March 17, 2001.  This was not only St. Patrick's day but also the day of Joel's graduate recital at U of M.  Our 900 square foot house was full with my mom, my grandma, Joel's parents & his brother plus our 2 dogs & 2 cats--we were cooking in the kitchen & cleaning for his reception following the recital.   Joel had driven up the road to the grocery store to pick up the cake I ordered for him that read "Congratulations Joel" in the icing.  We had some late season snow there in Michigan that spring & only the week before Joel had traded in his faithful ol' blue Ford Ranger for a shiny new red one.  We hadn't even made a payment on the truck yet when he decided it would be "more exciting" to take the outer, snow covered road home with his cake, than to drive down the clear highway.  What a neat thing to get a phone call from him to tell me he was on the outer road and the truck was upside down in the ditch....just hours before his recital was to begin.  He was fine--the truck was totalled.  And the cake...well, I only wish we had a picture of the icing reading "Congratulations Joel" that was stuck to the cake box top from when it flipped upside down in the truck with him. 

SO, luckily Joel made it home Wednesday with no incident....he had much more precious cargo than cake this time as he was driving with my Josie Mae in tow.  And since that same day Joel had to trade our old van in for a new-to-us commuter car, I'm REALLY hoping we get to make at least 1 payment on it before he decides to do anything too exciting in it! 

Happiness

I was driving in the car with my girls the other night when we noticed the beautiful full moon.  Josie says, "Momma, I can't decide if I want to be an astronaut or a farmer when I grow up.  What do you think I should be?" 

I answered as simply as I could, "You should be whatever makes you happy."

My Happiness

I don't remember having long, in depth conversations with my parents about my future & what I wanted to be when I grew up.  For as long as I can remember, I just always knew I wanted & would be a teacher.  I would sneak into my mom's closet & slip on her high heeled shoes pretending to be a teacher in our basement.  I loved the sound the clippy cloppy made on the concrete floor & reminded me of being in class.  In high school I participated in after school programs in the elementary schools working with at-risk youth.  In college, my job list included 3 different day care centers.  I loved being a teacher & I was really good at it.  It made me happy for several years. 

But then I had Jackie & what made me happy changed.  I think that's ok.  I believe it takes a brave person to stop mid-career & make a bold change for the sake of happiness.  My choice has maybe not paid us as well as continuing my teaching career, but if I had it to do all over, I'd do the same thing.

That's the funny thing about happiness.  Only you can figure out how to make it for yourself & truly money can't buy it for you.  Be brave.  Be bold.  Be Happy!

YAY Daddy!

Joel narrowly missed passing his military fitness test last fall by a couple of sit ups.  It seemed so silly because he can literally run circles around me & is in really great shape.  So when he came home & told me, he had a great sense of humor about it.  Not passing meant he would have to attend a class about nutrition & being healthy.  He jokingly named it "Fat Camp". 

This month Joel got to retake his fitness test & at dinner that night he had a celebratory glass of wine.  Jackie asked him what he was celebrating & he said, "Well, I passed my fitness test at work."  Jackie jumped up in her chair, started clapping and immediately shouted "YAY DADDY, no more FAT CAMP!"  I laughed the best laugh! 

Yep, you can't keep a thing in the world from your kids--they hear everything you say & watch everything you do!  I hope the good stuff sticks!

You Will Reach the Top

Once upon a time there was a bunch of tiny frogs.... who arranged a running competition.

The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower.

A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants....

The race began....

Honestly:

No one in crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower.
You heard statements such as:

"Oh, WAY too difficult!!"

"They will NEVER make it to the top."

or:

"Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!"



The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one....
Except for those, who in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher....

The crowd continued to yell,  "It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!"
More tiny frogs got tired and gave up....

But ONE continued higher and higher and higher....

This one wouldn't give up!




At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog who, after a big effort, was the only one who reached the top!
THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it?



A contestant asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal?
It turned out....

That the winner was DEAF!!!!





The wisdom of this story is:

Never listen to other people's tendencies to be

negative or pessimistic....  because they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you -- the ones you have in your heart!
Always think of the power words have.

Because everything you hear and read will affect your actions!
Therefore:
ALWAYS be....

POSITIVE!
And above all:

Be DEAF when people tell YOU that you cannot fulfill your dreams!!

In two days tomorrow will be yesterday.

Dress Up

We had big plans for the 4 day weekend.  Jackie had horse riding camp all day Friday, Josie had a friend coming over for a play date, Aunt Gina was possibly coming to town...and then Thursday night Jackie woke up sick & everything had to be cancelled.  While Jackie was incredibly heartbroken to miss her camp, it was harder for Josie to understand why she couldn't still have her friend over since SHE wasn't the one who was sick.  As an alternate plan, I told her I would do makeup with her later in the day.  This was ALMOST as good as having a play date as Josie is my girly girl & loves to dress up and do makeup. 

So, after getting sidetracked several times, we finally sat down in the afternoon and I let her use my makeup & her own to make me beautiful...



We started with some mineral foundation.




She chose a very pretty blue for my eyes.

 The cutest part was her going through my makeup bag asking me what everything was used for.  She picked up my concealer & opened it.  "What's this, Mommy?"   When I told her it was concealer, she asked me how you use it.  I told her it was for blemishes--to hide them.  She, of course, asked what a blemish was.  Lucky for her, I had a few to show her!  "It's an imperfection of your skin that you don't want people to notice."  She started brushing the concealer on my forehead (Maybe to hide my wrinkles? I'm not sure?).  Then she moved to my cheek & finally she looked at my chin & declared "OOOh, here's one we definitely need to cover up!"  Thanks kid. 


The finished product--complete with Josie's favorite ice pink lip gloss.

What started out a little stressful with a sick Ms. Jackie turned out to be a pretty fun day being pampered by the Jos-meister.  I don't have pics, but she even painted my toes for me later!

Friggin' Noodles..

Joey claims that I have a potty mouth.  And....he's right.  But I try REALLY hard not to say things in front of the kids...or at least modify my verbage.  So I've noticed my sweet boy has been really paying attention to me.  Last week he was attempting to get his pjs off in the bathroom when the zipper got stuck & he started yelling "Friggin' zipper!"  I was in my bedroom & just had to laugh! 

So friggin' cute!



Then earlier this week while Joel was very sick in bed, I was searching the fridge for some lunch to feed Jamison.  He'd also been sick the night before so I wanted something gentle for his stomach as opposed to the hot dog he was insisting I make him.  (Been there.  Done that.  Hot dogs are NOT fun to clean up!)  I knew we had some cooked noodles in the fridge from the girls' lunches the week before, but I couldn't find them.  Under my breath I said, "Where in the world are the friggin' noodles?"  To which Jamison answered "Let me go ask Daddy."  Before I could catch up to him, he had burst into my bedroom where Joel was sleeping & questioned, "Daddy!  WHERE are the friggin' noodles?!?!"  Again, I couldn't contain my giggles, though Joel didn't think it so funny to be woken up by a 3yr old sailor. 
So, I admit, I need to come up with better adjectives.   But it could be worse.....