What size?

The email came today--10 weeks and counting!  Just 10 more weeks until we're walking 60 miles in Dallas, TX in the Susan G Komen 3 Day for the Cure.  If you hadn't heard, my husband (tho STILL waiting on leave approval) is walking with my team, Jenny's Army of Angels.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jenny's Army of Angels 2010

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pictured above is our team last year wearing our team shirts--camo for the "army", pink for the "breast cancer" part of the walk, the back had a pair of wings for the "angels".  Cute, right? 

My 4th-year-in-a-row teammate, Jayne, so graciously offered to see if she could get a couple more of these shirts made for our new team members this year & we were hashing out some details last night, including sizes for those new walkers.

So, I pulled my shirt out of the closet & asked Joel, "Would you wear one of these with the team if we get you one made?  And what size do you think you'd need?" 

My husband, the man who has been by my side for 5+ years as our world has REVOLVED around breast cancer, says "That's really PINK.  Can I wear one in a different color?"

Now, in my head the following slide show is going as I recall the previous years I've participated in this walk...

Please note that not only are these pictures all of men, but the common theme of pink.

I replied, "Seriously?  It's a BREAST CANCER walk--the color associated with breast cancer is PINK.  If you want one in a different color, you can wear a PINK bra over it."

There was no pause, "Ok, I'll take an XL."

That's what I thought....

Summer Fun

Today we were all home with no plans & no visitors.  So we took a bike ride!  Jamison had been asking to go to "Park Waters Park"  (aka Quiet Waters Park) in Annapolis.  What a beautiful day!

While I'm very much looking forward to & counting down the days till the first day of school next week, I am loving every moment of the final days of summer fun till then!

How old is she?

I just finished reading The Help this week.  Super book & at the recommendation of my SIL, I watched the movie trailer online.  Jackie watched with me & started asking about it.  As I gave her a rundown of the book/movie, she says, "That's just like the book I'm reading, Dear America:  The Diary of Dawnie Rae Johnson" and she proceeds to tell me stories about Dawnie being the only African American child in the town white school in Virginia in the 1950s.  It amazes me that she not only enjoys reading these books, she also retains the information & can retell specifics in the book.  We had a 20 minute conversation sharing stories about the books we're both reading & I keep thinking to myself that this child will start 3rd grade in just a few weeks.  I once taught 3rd grade in Highland Park, MI.  When we had Black History Month & started talking about segregation, my children didn't believe me that I was white.  "You ain't white Ms. Whelah!  You just light skinned."  Unfortunately, most of them were not at the reading level as my 3rd grader either.  (I had kids who were promoted to 3rd grade just because the teachers didn't want to deal with the parents anymore...understandable--to a point-- when you have had to get a restraining order against some of them!) 

Again, my little red head continues to amaze me--what an adult conversation we had this morning.  If I'd allowed her to have her own cup of coffee, I would've felt like we were old friends chatting at the cafe!  I know she's dreading school starting again, but I can't wait to watch her continue to grow & learn.  I just love it!

My Girl Did It!

Today is the day we've been waiting on for a long time.  Jackie's hair was finally long enough to donate to Locks Of Love.  

First the ponytail...

Next, the "ugly" cut...

Drying the hair--14 inches!









*******************************DRUM ROLL********************************

Do you recognize this girl?  Sweet Jackie Sue!

While we were waiting for Jackie to get her hair cut, Josie decided to get hers cut for school also.  This little one can rock a short hair cut!  I love it!!

Side view

From the back

2 Beautiful Girls

Oh yeah, Jamison wanted to be part of the picture fun too!

So proud of my girl!  She's still having a hard time getting used to it & will probably wake up tomorrow not knowing who that sweet girl with the short hair is in the mirror, but it's all been worth it!  

Blessings

This morning I attended a funeral for a 7 yr old little boy who lost his 3 year battle with brain cancer.  I don't know what was harder to witness--his mom telling stories about him & letting him know she'll see him again someday or his little brother clinging to his grandfather crying.

We didn't know this little boy well.  He's the great nephew of our very dear neighbors & we've been with them in thoughts & prayer since the day he found out he had a brain tumor at just 4 years old.  Our girls have prayed for him every night & even walked for him in the Relay for Life at their school.  We've cooked meals for their family with the endless hospital visits & surgeries and attended fundraisers. When I got the call that he had passed peacefully on Saturday morning, I wasn't sure how to tell the girls.  This morning when they asked where Daddy & I were going, I told them a funeral.  They asked whose & I told them H.  Josie didn't know how to react.  Jackie sat crying silently for a few minutes before she said anything.  I told them both that he is in no more pain & he's in Heaven.  We talked about how we have to keep praying for his little brother as he has lost his best friend & continue to raise money for cancer research so no more children have to have so much pain.  I was fixing the girls' breakfast then when I saw Josie get up from the table & grab her piggy bank.  She took a box they'd gotten from school to save change for cancer research & completely emptied her bank into the box.  Jackie followed her lead & did the same.  They didn't really say anything--they just did it & brought the box to me and said "Feel how heavy this is Mommy.  It's full of money to fight cancer."  Now, if you know my girls--especially Josie Mae--they're not heartless little people, but they certainly have a "thing" for their money.  This was a big deal & I could not be more proud.

My heart is heavy for this beautiful family who lost their precious little boy this week.  I cannot seem to wrap my head around the purpose or the meaning of this lost life.  But the service this morning was a complete celebration of the 7 years this amazing soul was here to bless so many lives.  H had the strength of an army of men, a smile like sunshine & a heart of gold.  His mom, S, said to live each day as it comes & live it to the fullest, just as H did.  And I don't think there's any better advice.  While I know that little man is going to be terribly missed, I feel blessed that there's one more angel on my side in Heaven.

Hug those you love just a little bit tighter & a little bit longer tonight.  Rest In Peace, H.D.S.  

Eating Toothpaste for Dessert?

It's amazing to me how close you can live to someone and still let months & months go between visits.  This happened recently with our dear friends, the Hoffmanns.  It seems that Michelle & I SOMEHOW let the months between October 2009 & March 2011 go by without seeing each other...and we live 20 minutes apart.  When this news was made public knowledge, our mutual friend Heather H. instructed us to get together at least 2 more times between March & September of this year--her orders!  I'm proud to say that we had our families together for dinner in April, Michelle & I had a dinner/concert date in May & just last week we had our families together again for dinner TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW!  And we had a ball.  BUT...there was this thing with dessert...

Dinner night #1 we were meeting at their house & my job was to bring dessert.  I wanted to do something summer-y and kid friendly so I went looking through my recipes.  When I picked out the Grasshopper Ice Cream Cake, it said to use mint chip ice cream in it, BUT other flavors could be substituted. My first thought was YUM, mint chip ice cream!  But I asked Joey if he thought any of the kids would not like the mint ice cream and he said "Are you kidding?  Who doesn't like mint chip ice cream?!?!"  Mint chip it is!

We arrive.  Kids scramble to the back to play together like they're siblings, we eat this incredible German inspired dinner that Dennis has slaved over all evening, everyone's having cold drinks, laughing, telling stories & I go to get dessert.  Oreo crust--yum!  Cool whip icing--yum!  Chocolate shaving toppings--yum!  Mint chip ice cream--FAIL!  Dennis says "Why would I eat something that tastes like my toothpaste for dessert?"  and proceeds to give me a rather hard time about my dessert choice for the evening.  And I'm feeling really terrible because his dinner was fantastic & this was my ONLY job!

So, as we leave & we've come to the unanimous decision to get together again the next night, I promise a knock-your-socks-off dessert just for Dennis.

Banana Split Pie

Now, I assure you that I asked Michelle if Dennis LIKED banana splits before I made this dessert.  When I asked him the night before what his favorite dessert was, his response was "It really depends on what I had for dinner..."  Really Dennis?  Really?  Joey grilled burgers, so what's more appropriate for a good ol' American grilled burger than a banana split, right?  

When I started to dish out the pie, Dennis said "You know, pecans make my throat itchy...I hope you didn't use any nuts..." At first Michelle did agree with him.  Then she said he was just being a pain.  I honestly don't know if she was just being nice & kicking him under the table because of the tears welling in my eyes or because he was truly just giving me a really hard time.  I do know he ate a piece.  Then took the left overs home with him...maybe the dog got dessert?  Who knows.  But I know the rest of us enjoyed it.  And I like to believe it was better than having toothpaste for dessert. 

Jamison & Jackie enjoyed every last bite!

Later we were entertained by the kids with some after dinner tunes.

And a little bit of silliness...

Let's just say we're pretty sure Ms. Heather H. is proud that we went above & beyond the orders of getting together.  And I'm sure glad we did!

My Boy

I tell him everyday that he's my Main Man.  I just love him.

While I was away last week (which is a WHOLE blog entry in itself:  Sister Adventure 2011), Jamison decided he wanted to learn to ride the big boy bike with training wheels that his cousins gave him, rather than his little boy tricycle.  When I got home, we set out on a family bike trip at the park.  Joel & I took turns staying back with pokey puppy and going ahead with the girls.  At the end of the trip, I was riding with the boy.  We were going past a little pond that has a bridge & on the path where we were riding there were photographers taking family pictures on either side of us.  In our effort to avoid hitting the people & also stay on the path, I ended up "tripping" over him with my bike.  Basically, we both tumbled over and got tangled in the bikes.  Immediately there was panic & crying because he was SURE something had to be bleeding, but once he checked himself out & realized there was no blood he calmed down.  His next concern was Momma.  My ankle was stuck all up in my bike pedal & the bike was laying on top of me, but what did my boy first ask me about?

Laying a hand upon my breast he said "Mommy, do you have ouchies here?"

"No honey, no ouchies there.  Just my leg, thank you."

While some may say he is a typical man--yes.  But remember that my breasts have been quite the topic of discussion, concern & attention in his short 3 years of life.

So, yesterday I had a post-op appointment with the nurse at the hospital just to make sure everything is healing.  The nurse was so impressed by his patience & ability to just sit reading his book while we talked.  After the appointment we had a lunch date--his choice.  What else is a 3yr old going to pick but McDonalds!  After we finished our "main course" he asked for a $1 hot fudge sundae for dessert.  I just couldn't resist him.

Could you say no to that face?

So, he had about 4 bites of his ice cream & then we headed home.  What a sweet boy--my Main Man.

Eight Year Old Wisdom

I'm standing in my bathroom getting ready this morning & out of nowhere, my 8 going on 30 year old daughter pops in because she wants to tell me something.

Now, as a side note here, we've just had a new baby cousin arrive in our world that has fascinated Jackie as she got to be around for big-belly-auntie & then to see multiple new baby pictures online & on my phone.  Knowing this child would come into the world with red hair, like Jackie, we have joked around about what a difficult baby she was.  I believe now that the difficult baby period is worth an easier elementary school age period vs my easy-peasy baby Josie who has been difficult & drama filled since she learned to talk.  So, Jackie's heard many stories about her colic and her tantrums in the past few weeks...

Sweet Baby Jackie in one of her easier moments.

Back to this morning as we're standing in the bathroom and my child says, "Mom, I know why I was such a bad baby now."  (By the way, I've never called her BAD)

"Oh yeah?  Why's that?"

"Well, because you didn't know what you were doing.  I was helping you learn.  I had to be bad so you wouldn't get all soft inside and so when you had another baby and then another baby and then stopped having anymore babies you would know how to deal with them.  I was just helping you out!  I was a SMART baby!"

"Really?"

"Yes.  Can I go outside to play now?"

Jackie is teaching us a lesson in the hospital room the day she met her new baby sister.

The wisdom ended as abruptly as it began.  Where this idea came from this morning, I have no idea.  But, she's got a point.  That kid is one smart cookie.

I Ran & I Survived!

Today was the day--my goal race for the Cancer to 5K!

I joined this group after finding out I had gained a significant amount of weight in the last year while undergoing several reconstruction surgeries in 2010.  I have always been "running" around after little ones, very active & even had a personal trainer in between the 2 times I was diagnosed with cancer.  But RUNNING is something I have never done formally & this was a whole new world for me.  The beginning of the training season was rough as I was dealing with allergy & exercise induced asthma during one of the highest pollen seasons in history & working out OUTSIDE 4x's a week.  After I got some medications to control that & Coach Bob gave me some great breathing tips at an early May group workout, things really started to fall into place.  

My first week workouts consisted of 1 min jog/2 min walk for 20 minutes--and that was pushing me!  Before the race today, Coach pulled us all together to go over a few last minute things.  One thing he said was to think back to 12 weeks ago--then he looked, pointed & said "Jennifer, think back to 12 weeks ago & how far you've come."  Today--12 weeks later--I ran the whole race & while not the fastest runner in town, I took one of the volunteer's advice and made this day only about ME and my journey.  I'll admit there were tears from nerves last night.  This morning I was C-R-A-B-B-Y.   I had to get up at 5am AND drag 5 children from age 3-8 up & dressed out the door by 5:30.  Then my husband was so kindly trying to talk encouraging words to me as it started to sprinkle on the beltway, but all I could do was bark back that he needed to stop talking.  I hadn't prepared myself for rain--all I could think about last night was preparing Joel for standing alone with 5 children for the 90 minutes I was SURE it would take me to get done. (that's a joke about the 90 minutes...kind of)  When it started pouring the moment we hit downtown Bethesda I was (I-I) this close to telling Joel to turn around and take me back to my warm bed.  Since I hadn't worked out with the group very many times I didn't know many faces, but pulling into the parking lot I saw NO yellow shirts & I got all icky in my belly.  As we were backing into a spot, Coach Bob appeared (I have a feeling he was watching to make sure I didn't bail).  I knew at that point there was no turning back.

Me, Coach Bob & my personal cheering section!

So, we did it.  We got started in the back with the 12+ min milers & did our thing.  And even though I laughed at Coach in the final mile saying "You're not breathing very hard, I should've pushed you harder," I really just wanted to trip him.  I'll admit--if I'd been alone, I might've walked a couple of times.  That bridge was not my friend.  My legs got really heavy after we made the first crossing of the street on the way back.  When I grabbed that water, I could've walked for 2 minutes to give myself a chance to cherish every last drop.  But....I ran.  And Coach Bob, I thank you for the encouragement & the laughs--some of them were even genuine.   

Survivors

This Wednesday I have hopefully my final reconstructive surgery.  It's gonna throw me out of the training/running routine for a bit.  But I won't lie...I have already been looking at other races to sign up & train for in the fall.........

 Behind the scenes over the last 12 weeks there were many emotional tears shed, but today was worth it.  Jackie told me as she was going to bed tonight, again, how proud she was of me.  My kids have watched me through 2 rounds of cancer, including 9 surgeries so far.  They've also watched me fight through this training this last 12 weeks, doing whatever I had to do to fit in my workouts even when Joel was out of town for the month of April.  What a wonderful gift to give them--the gift of knowing that it's always worth the fight.  

Embracing My Husband's Bromance

Urban Dictionary definition of Bromance: 

A close relationship between two bros to such a point

 where they start to seem like a couple.

Today, Joel was getting the grill ready to start dinner.  Kids were playing at the neighbors & I was still stinky from my nap time run.  Here's what happened...

Me:  I think I'll go shower the stink off of me now.

Joel:  Do that later.  Sit & have a drink with me.  Enjoy the weather. 

Me:  Ok.  

(insert generic conversation about our days & upcoming weekend plans)

--3 minutes into conversation--

 *Ring*  *Ring* (Joel's cell makes some crazy music that I can't describe in text form)

Joel:  (glancing at caller ID, grins sheepishly)

Me:  Who is it?

Joel:  Jeb (another smile)

Me:  Should I go shower now?

Joel:  That's a GREAT idea!  (immediately answers phone) I love you.

While I couldn't actually hear the response to that I love you, I am 99.9% sure it was greeted with "I love you too."  

And so, I went to wash the stink off myself while my husband enjoyed the weather & his adult beverage on the deck while talking to his *close* friend, Jeb.   Wondering if I should be worried?

Can You Believe It?

It's Week 12!  As some of you may recall, I wrote an entry titled It's Official back in February announcing my registration for the Cancer to 5K training program for this spring.  We got started on March 16 & here we are--12 weeks later.  Our Race Day is Sunday, June 5...just a few days away.

I know I haven't reported my progress in awhile.  I thought I'd just share some highlights of the past month...

As we started the month of May, Coach Bob had me running about 4 minutes at a time with a 3 min recovery & I was up to about 35-40 minutes of these intervals.  Then I get an email asking me to come to one of the group workouts, if possible, because he has a "special" workout he'd like to do with me.  The one Wednesday evening that worked for my schedule happened to be the day after I turned half of 70.  I showed up & while Coach gave everyone else their prescribed workouts for the evening, he waited to tell me that I would be doing the 12 minute test.  What's the 12 minute test?  It's running--for 12 minutes.  I said, "Coach, I've never run more than 4 minutes at a time."  And his response was simply "Great, this will be just like doing that 3 times."  Exactly.  Not.

Well, long story short--I ran that damn 12 minutes without stopping once.  It was not fun.  It was not neat.  It was terrible.  Coach was very "I told you so." My emotions were so out of whack I literally cried when I got in the car.  But I did it.  Thus, Coach named me "a runner."

You see, after that workout, my prescribed workouts changed at home.  That was a Wednesday.  Friday my workout was to run for 25 minutes--to just see how long I could run.  Guess what.  I ran 26:07 that day.  Was I the slowest runner ever?  Yep.

Next week, more of the same.  In fact, on Saturday the 21st my workout was 40 minutes--just run.  We were in VA Beach visiting family.  Kiddos were preoccupied so Joel set out on the park trail to run with me.  First comment "This warm up thing is kinda nice...I'm not used to this."  Yeah, my warm ups tend to be on the long side of warming up as I have to psych myself up for long runs.  Then we started running. Hubby did good--he was quiet & kept his comments to himself.  He offered to carry my t-shirt & water bottle for me. Only once did he offer a suggestion & my quick response was "Shut up.  That's not what Coach Bob says."  So he did.  In case you're wondering, NO, I did not make it the full 40 minutes without stopping to walk.  I walked a total of 3 1/2 minutes out of the 40.  Not too terrible for a new-to-running 1/2 of 70 yr old woman.  As we were cooling down, I said to Joel, "Thanks for being patient with me today."  His response, "No problem, but it's not easy running that slow."  More than 15 years together and the man still doesn't think before he speaks...

I survived the run--Joel survived running slowly with me.

So here we are--5 days till the race.  My goal on Day 1 was to be able to run the whole 5K without walking.  I don't know that I've gotten myself to that endurance level yet, honestly.  But I do know, I sure can run a long way--at least 2 miles before I have to stop because I've done it more than once.  And that's more than I can say for 5 months ago.  Joel also mentioned that my walking pace was faster than ever before during our warm up.  I just have to believe that the simple act of me walking at a faster pace will save our marriage as we attempt to walk 60 miles over 3 days together in November!  

I have learned a lot about myself in the past 12 weeks.  Those 17 pounds I had gained when I went to see my GYN in January?  Well, I don't know that I've lost much of that weight, but I've seen a change in my body & my endurance.  What's most important is that my kids have watched me working toward this--always asking if they can come outside to exercise with me (my girls biked 12 miles the Saturday Joel & I ran together)--and they'll be there on Sunday to cheer me to the finish line.  I don't want my girls to get caught up in their weight & body image issues, but to just have role models showing them how to live a healthy life style.  

Race Day

Sunday, June 5: 7am 

Capital Crescent 5K in Bethesda Maryland  

Wednesday, June 8 is Surgery #6 for Round 2.  It's minor & outpatient but will throw me off my game for a few weeks.  I don't know if I'll continue running when I'm released to workout again.  Stay tuned...stranger things have happened!

Half of 70

Last week I told Joel that 35 sounds so much older than 34 to me.  Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not all caught up on age, but it just sounds older.  And he said "Well, it IS half of 70...you're gonna be half of 70."  Wow, that's neat. 

Over the weekend we saw some friends & were talking about my birthday & the fact that I'm going to be 1/2 of 70.  I joked that it won't be long before Joel will want to trade me in for a yonger model.  One of the guys standing there said "Are you kidding?  He just got all new parts on this one!  Why would he get a new model?" 

Well, I guess that's one way to look at it!  I've had my "tune up" and am all set for the next 35 years!  Bring it!

Celebrate

I tend to get many touching cards this time of year.  From April 24-May 10, I celebrate my wedding anniversary, Mother's Day & my birthday.  Each of the cards from family & friends near & far reminds me how blessed I am.  But today I received the sweetest card from my Grandma & I just can't stop thinking about the words inside.  I hope you enjoy them too...

Celebrate the world around you

each & every day,

Celebrate the things you've seen

and done along the way,

Celebrate your joys & sorrows,

every memory, too-

And don't forget to celebrate

the joy of being you!

Teachers

It's Teacher Appreciation Week--and I think that's across the country, not just here in our county.  And while I love this week, I have to say that one day or one week is not enough to show teachers our appreciation.  I admit that I have a soft spot in my heart for teachers--funny thing, right?  Not only do I personally come from a teaching background, but my Mother-in-Law & 2 Sisters-in-Law are both teachers as well.  Musicians & teachers--what can I say?  We have a passion and it's not for money obviously!!

Anyway, during this week each year my girls' elementary school does various things for the teachers, including having the classes make a booklet for their teacher, goody bags full of treats & a luncheon mid week which is completely provided by parent volunteers.  Now, this is also the exact elementary school I taught at for two years before I came home full time & I admit that I don't remember much about Teacher Appreciation Week standing out in my memory.  But I've had a different take on the "appreciation" of a teacher now that I'm on the other side.  While I'm not in charge of anything, I make a point to be "on call" if the volunteer coordinator needs a fill in--whether it's to sit at the grocery store booth for a couple hours on a Saturday or pick up a couple bottles of salad dressing.  I also am "on call" for the teachers.  It made my heart smile this year when Jackie's Kindergarten teacher said she was disappointed she didn't have Josie on her class list because she loves having ME as a parent!

So, here's the thing.  I made a lasagna Jackie's first 2 years of school for the luncheon.  And that's a from-scratch-lasagna that I only make on special occasions for my family & only if you've been hospitalized if you're a friend.  This year, because of the lack of "main dish" offers, I went ahead and made two.  My kids couldn't believe they didn't get to eat one of them.  My husband only allowed it to happen because I promised him one on this birthday next week!  But if making 2 lasagnas shows my appreciation to my kids' teachers & support staff, then I'll do it.  I'll supply the whole darn meal, in fact.  I am trusting these people with the care of my own flesh-and-blood children for 7 hours a day/5 days a week!

Teachers are amazing people.  I loved loved loved my job as a teacher.  Watching little people learn something new for the first time & seeing their eyes light up is magical.  The only thing I love more than teaching is being able to be my own boss so I can have time flexibility for my family because they come first.  But teaching is very rewarding.  And if it weren't, no one would teach.  Three months off in the summer?  HA!  Once you add on snow days & in service days & extra summer workshop days & classroom work days, teachers get about 6-8 weeks off, NOT 3 months.  And that's only if they're not taking 3 college classes working on their Master's Degree during the summer months to fulfill state requirements.  Daily hours 8-3?  HA!  Not only are those the hardest 7 hours of the day, but they're also only the beginning.  My school bag used to get so heavy with the stuff I carried to & from work that I had to sometimes leave it in the car & bring in one thing at a time. If they're a band director, like so many of my friends & family, then there's many after school & weekend activities to be planned & attended.   Big money?  Double HA!  Not only are the paychecks small, but much of that personal paycheck goes right back into the classroom.  Teachers have the biggest hearts out there.  They are truly special people.

So, I ask that if you have a child who has a teacher, that you do something special this week to say thank you.  Next time you're at the store, grab a box of pencils or an extra box of tissue & just send it to school in your child's backpack.  That's what your child's teacher does...for your child.

TEACHERS--I thank you!  From the bottom of my heart I know that you have a tough job & I have worked with some of the most incredible teachers there are!  Thank you for all you do--SUMMER IS ALMOST HERE!!!!

Compromise

Last night Jackie was doing division for her math homework.  That simple part of math hit me that she is REALLY growing up.  DIVISION?  I'm not ready for this!  But, I didn't realize how well we've prepared her for being a grown up until I overheard her doing vocabulary later with her Daddy.

The word was "compromise" & I don't know the exact way it was defined in her second grade handbook, but according to Webster's New World Dictionary compromise is a settlement in which each side gives up some demands or makes concessions.


Joel was giving Jackie a real world situation in which a compromise would need to be made in order for her to better understand the meaning.  He said, "Sometimes when me & Mommy go to the movies, she wants to see a chick flick & I want to see an action adventure.  So we have to compromise.  What do you think that means?"

Jackie answered, "You go see the chick flick."

While I'm certainly not ready to release my 8 year old child into the grown up world yet, I can rest peacefully at night knowing that I've taught her the ways of marital compromise & she has a complete understanding of how it works.