What do YOU do?

I get this question everytime I meet someone new.  Now let me just start by saying that being a mom is a full time job.  It's a thankless job that does not pay NEARLY enough.  I knew when we found out that we were pregnant for the first time that Joel HAD to get a job so I could stay home with my baby.  As luck would have it, 4 short days after I peed on the stick, he got the DC gig.  I stayed home with Jackie for a year.  It was H.A.R.D!  Not only to be a new mom, but to get into a routine in a new town with a kid that did nothing but eat, sleep & poop.  I felt like I needed something more...for me.  So, that next fall I went back to work--first just to substitute as needed and as I wanted to.  But then I got a call that one of the elementary schools in the county needed an extra Kindergarten teacher.  And K. is where my heart is for teaching...so I took it.  It was fun, don't get me wrong.  But I drove 45 minutes to and from work every single day.  My first day of teaching was literally on Jackie's first birthday.  And then after 2 weeks of being back at work, my babysitter bailed on me.  I had to take several days off to find a new childcare situation.  The whole thing was a nightmare. 

Then I began working in the evenings and weekends with a company I had started shopping with over the summer before going back to teaching.  I did it from home, on my time and was paid for my efforts.  I enjoyed every minute of it and started hoping for snow days so I could work from home MORE!  Now I know that sometimes home businesses have a bad reputation--and there are many scams out there.  I've talked to more people who have been ripped off over the years & it's sad.  But I love what I do & after Josie came along, I quit teaching to pour all my efforts into my business.

It's challenging--to say the least--to get respect from certain people about what you do when you have your own home business.  I talk to complete strangers daily who don't know me, don't trust me, still have skepticism about what I'm telling them.  That rolls off my back because I really can't blame them.  However, it's those people you've known forever who don't respect what you do that kinda takes your breath away for a moment.  And I say a moment, because it really IS just for a moment.  I am confident about what I do and won't let anyone take that away from me. 

You see, I am still an educator.  And when I talk to people--friends, family, or complete strangers--I talk to them to help THEM.  It's truly about educating as many people as I can.  A stranger may not believe that of me right away and again, I can't really blame them.  They don't know me.  BUT if you DO know me and you still think I'm just talking to you to make a quick buck you are sorely mistaken.  I love providing a little extra income for my family.  I love driving a car that my company makes the car payments.  But I don't chase down my friends & family to only make a buck.  It's a genuine concern.  Just like when I was a teacher and I had a student who needed some extra help in school.  I didn't call the parents to schedule an appointment for a conference because it made ME more money or helped MY resume.  I called those parents in to educate them on the situation involving their child and what they do with that information was up to them--just like the information I share now. 

Now I'm rambling, on my soapbox.  Sorry...let me just say this.  It took guts for ME to quit teaching and pour my heart and soul into this business.  Joel & I have had many heart to hearts about this and he has been my #1 fan and supporter from Day 1.  If you have ever taken the time to let me share my company with you, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.  What you DO with that information is out of my control...but thank you for letting me educate you.  Fear of home based business is real because there ARE scams out there.  But if someone you know--someone you've known for YEARS--approaches you out of concern for you and your family, take the time to hear them out.  And if I personally happen to come to you--know this.  I am not going to chase you or try to convince you to do something you don't want to do.  If I have come to you & addressed a concern, I assure you it is genuine because I think I have a way to offer you a solution to some problem I've seen you having.

I've been able to help well over 600 families in the past 7+ years.  Some came to me because they wanted to make money and be home with their kids.  Some needed to find a solution to health issues their child or spouse was having.  I've talked to probably 5x's that many people but 600+ families found an answer here.  You can't find the answer if you don't look at all the options.

Perspective

Perspective:  a specific point of view in understanding or judging things or events.

This word has come to mind several times in the past 4 years.  This week it's one of Jackie's vocabulary words at school.  It amazes me that some people make it to adulthood with the "bubble" they live in & the things that actually come out of their mouths.  I guess it takes all kinds to make the world go round? 

Last summer I got a tattoo.  I honestly never wanted a tattoo.  But after my cancer journey decided it would be sometihng to serve as my "badge" of survival.  It was a gift to myself and I love it!

Just before I went to get it, I had someone say to me, "On your ankle?  That's gonna HURT!  Omygosh, are you sure you want it on your ankle?"  Hurt?  It's gonna hurt?  Let's get some perspective here--just weeks before this conversation I had my stomach cut from hip bone to hip bone and all the skin removed from my right breast, then replaced with the skin & tissue from my stomach.  I was in the hospital for 4 days, couldn't walk standing up straight for about 3 weeks and had 4 drains hanging from my breast and hips for 2 weeks.  A needle coloring on my ankle bone for 30 min is gonna HURT? 

I am also trying to gain an appropriate perspective going into my 60 mile walk next week.  I admit that I have lacked in training this year--I can give excuses, but I won't.  I am just not ready physically.  While talking with my team about blisters that we will most likely get within the first 5 miles (AHHHH!), I will have a mind over matter battle putting that "pain" into perspective.  Little J is still in the hospital undergoing treatment for her lukemia--she's been there for over 2 weeks now.  She's only 3 years old & being stuck with needles daily without a way to understand WHY (tho NONE of us can understand WHY).  When those blisters are bulging & the shin splints are screaming and my feet are cramping next weekend, I assure you that I will go further than I want to for little J.  She doesn't have a choice--neither will I.  

It's all about perspective. 

November 5

For the first 19 years of my life November 5 was just another day--one day closer to my favorite holiday, Thanksgiving.  Then I met my dear friend, A, my sophomore year of college and learned it was her birthday.  For the next 7 years it was the day I got to wish A a Happy Birthday.  In 2004, my lovebug, Josie Mae, came into the world on November 5.   Now she shared her birthday with someone I love so much--an amazing day!  In 2007, November 5 was the day after I gave birth to Bubba Boy and we celebrated Josie's 3rd birthday.  One year later, on November 5, my worst fears began to unfold. 

It was 2 years ago today.  Joel had been home from fall tour for a few days & I had found a lump.  How could I have POSSIBLY found a lump when I had a bilateral mastectomy & implants, you might wonder?  Well, it was there, in the skin.  And I saw my surgeon on November 5--Josie's 4th birthday.  First he claimed he couldn't find the lump and asked me to point it out.  Then he assured me it was scar tissue & did an ultrasound in the patient room.  But, he decided to send me to radiology for a better ultrasound and further testing--just to make sure.  He sent me off with these words "Either they'll tell you it's scar tissue and you need to come back in 6 months for your next checkup OR they'll tell you it's nothing.  I'll probably see you in 6 months!"  For the next 6 hours I went from ultrasound to needle biopsy to mammogram (yup, it was a "pinched" mammo where the poor tech had to hold my implant out of the way to get a visual of the lump...very interesting).  The radiologist who read my films that day was the same one who told me in June of 2006 to have my first lump removed.  She came into the room & I was reading a Women's Day magazine.  The look on her face told me all I needed to know.  She sent me back to my surgeon to schedule a biopsy.  I didn't need to wait the next 7 weeks for the biopsy results to find out--I knew that day. 

November 5, 2008 was just the beginning of our second cancer tour. November 5, 2010 has been a completely WONDERFUL day with cupcakes at school & a friend home on the bus, dinner out & ice cream sundaes for dessert.  It's amazing to me how one day can hold so many memories and meanings for you while giving you so many mixed emotions. 

November 5--Happy Birthday A & Josie Mae and thank you to the docs who spent so much time with me on this day 2 years ago to make sure I got the best advice possible so I can see many more November 5 in the future.   

Month of Thanks

Today my head has been swimming with thoughts.  My morning started with a trip to the doc with my little man.  It was his 2yr/3yr old well baby checkup.  Why 2/3yr you ask?  Yes, I FORGOT to take him for his 2 yr old checkup.  FORGOT.  I admit, that in my multiple trips to the doc for preop appts, surgeon for post surgery appts, urologist for kidney stones, lab for xrays & MRIs on my foot in the past 16 months, I let it slip my mind that my little guy may not be up-to-date on his vaccines.  SO, today we went for his 2/3yr old appointment and I have said thank you more than once for the clean bill of health. 

You see, while sitting at this particular appointment I got a text from Joel informing me that friends of ours were sitting in a hospital room with their 3 yr old daughter undergoing treatment for lukemia.  When I got home, I had an email update from my neighbor's niece regarding her 5 yr old's MRI test today and clinical trial starting on Thursday for his inoperable brain tumor.  And then a coworker asked for prayers as a 20 yr old child of her friend undergoes treatment for her 3rd round of cancer, currently planning her wedding as it is her only wish as they fear a devistating outcome for her. 

November is the month of thanks.  And on November 25 we will sit around our dining room tables and say thanks for all that we have.  I am thankful that I have a beautiful family & amazing friends.  I am thankful that I can say I am a survivor.  But I am mostly thankful for the little people in the world--like H, J & K--who remind me that I can be a better person as they are fighting a fight I will NEVER know or EVER understand.  My heart is with these 3 families tonight and through this month of thanks as everyday is truly a blessing.  Thank you for touching my life in more ways than you can possibly know. 

Family Traditions

It's coming into the big holiday season & with the holidays come family traditions.  It's interesting to me, looking back, that as our family dynamics have changed, some of our traditions did as well.  Now that Joel & I have our own little family here, we've started a tradition--not really related to the holidays, but happened to fall just before the holidays this year--The Great Wolf Lodge Adventure.

Now, let me tell you the Great Wolf Lodge is a great family place.  We were introduced by friends back in 2005--Jackie was 2 1/2 yrs old & Josie was just 5 months old.  We took a weekend and drove to the Williamsburg location, which was brand new at the time.  It happened to be Mother's Day weekend and also my birthday when we went, so Joel had called ahead and surprised me with both a full body massage AND pedicure in the spa at the lodge.  I was still teaching full time then.  Joel had just gotten home from a 2-3 week tour, during which time I was still teaching, had both girls in the evenings and Josie was still nursing at night.  It had been a rough couple of weeks.  And he was so apologetic when he told me the only appointment for a pedicure was at 8:00.  Seriously?  On my first weekend with my husband home & my first opportunity to sleep in, I had to get up for an 8am pedicure?  But the thought was SO sweet, I couldn't complain & Saturday morning I woke up, showered, dried my hair and slipped out of the room while everyone else was still sleeping to get my feet pampered.  When I got to the spa down on the 1st floor, the doors were locked and all the lights were out.  There was one woman behind the desk inside so I knocked on the door.  When she came to open it, I told her I was there for my 8:00 appointment, to which she replied "We don't open till 9."  Hmmmm...after a quick look at her appointment book, she discovered that my sweet husband had misunderstood and the pedicure was for 8:00 P.M.  After MY apologies, I took the elevator back up to our room and walked in just as the troops were rising for the day.  I did not get to go back to sleep--instead enjoyed much fun at the water park that day and after dinner got to slip away for a delightful appointment with a quiet young lady who painted my toes pink that night.  When I returned to the room, both girls were asleep and hubby was waiting on the balcony with wine in hand.  What a sweet man.

Our tradition is that we have gone back every year.  We've just returned from our 6th trip to the Great Wolf Lodge.  The girls are getting braver with every visit.  And while some things are the same--many things change.  We joked this year about what age they will be when they'll be too old to go to the Great Wolf Lodge with mom and dad anymore.  I dread that day...but I savor all the sweet memories we're making each year on our traditional trip.  I hope one day we'll be able to keep the tradition going with extended family--as we take our kids AND grandkids to the water park for 3 days of SO MUCH FUN!

Daddy's Boy

Daddy's Boy

Note the blue marker--his favorite color--on his arms and cheeks.  You cannot see the solid blue palms of his hands, but they're there too.  

Yep, it's only Day 3 of tour...

Let the Fun Begin...

So, another October equals another tour.  Another month of fall festivals, pumpkin picking & carving and costume creating as a "single" mom.  Now, my hats off to the single moms out there...those who raise their kids alone for months at a time while Daddy is deployed and those who are true single parents doing this Mommy or Daddy thing solo.  This isn't a piece of cake & you are my heros...

Today actually went rather smoothly.  We started with Joel's alarm going off at 6am which woke up everyone in the house--earlier than necessary.  I love my husband, but the man has no idea what it means to be quiet when the rest of the house is still sleeping.  By 6:15am, he's said goodbye to me 4 x's and I have 2 extra little bodies in my bed with another awake & dressed in her room.  Let me just add here that I don't do mornings--I have a mug that has a picture of Tinkerbell saying "Mornings Are Not Magical."  This did not set me in the best mood, but it DID mean we were not rushed to get to the bus stop. 

Jamison & I had a great day--we went to his exercise class, we had lunch & after his nap we took a walk to get the girls from the bus stop.  That's when it got exciting.  Basically, the rest of the night went like this...rush Big J to horse riding lesson, fight with Middle & Little J to get back in the car.  Drive home for a short check into email while Little J successfully rips one door off family room entertainment center.  Drive back to get Big J.  Fight with Little J to stay out of mud, leave the big rocks on the ground, get in the car...drive back home.  Throw frozen pizza rolls in oven & sit Big J in kitchen to work on homework while Middle J sits in dining room working on homework.  Fight with Little J to keep him from playing with oven door, microwave buttons & radio timer.  Dinner on the table, everyone enjoying dinner, jump up after about 3 bites to answer phone call from mortgage company calling to schedule closing date for refinancing that Daddy J has been working on for the last several weeks.  Explain situation of hubby out of town & agree to call him to get some answers.  Meanwhile, all Js want MORE food, Momma!  Reheat oven, watch my food get cold & try to keep cool as hubby answers phone and explains that he can't get me my answers right then because HIS food--which has been prepared FOR him & which he does not have to SHARE with anyone of a single digit age--has just arrived at the table.  I kept my cool, but also got what I was calling for, no doubt.  While talking to mortgage company again, I stop the race that has begun down the hall.  More hot pizza rolls for Big & Middle J but too hot to eat right away.  Off to shower & baths....then finish homework & reading for the read-a-thon fundraiser.  Oh then the phone rings again--and it's the lady scheduled to meet Joel for closing tomorrow...again, when I call him to give him her number it's not really a good time. This time he's at the liquor store.  But he doesn't bother calling me back--he just requests a text with the info I was going to give him on the phone.  To his defense, it IS hard being on tour... 

8:30 my children are finally in bed.  Momma's exausted.  And we've only got 1 day down...there are still 20 to go...I'm waiting for the "fun" to begin!

Getting Ready for October...

The Love/Avon Army of Women (AOW) is a unique program of the Dr. Susan Love Research Foundation, a 501 (c) 3 non-profit breast cancer research organization. The program is funded through a grant from the Avon Foundation for Women. The AOW provides an opportunity for men and women to take part in breast cancer research studies aimed at determining the causes of breast cancer—and how to prevent it. The AOW is a groundbreaking initiative that connects breast cancer researchers via the internet with women who are willing to participate in a wide variety of research studies. The goal of the Army of Women is to recruit ONE MILLION MEN AND WOMEN of all ages and ethnicities, including breast cancer survivors and those who have never had breast cancer.

How can we cure something if we don’t know what we’re curing? Plain and simple, the Army of Women hopes to STOP CANCER BEFORE IT STARTS. By enlisting ONE MILLION WOMEN to participate in breast cancer research, we will be able to finally take the research out of the lab and look at real women. This will enable us to finally find the CAUSES of breast cancer and ultimately figure out how to prevent it all together. BILLIONS of dollars have been spent on breast cancer research to date, but we still don’t know what CAUSES it. While many advances in treatment have been made, our goal is to eradicate it once and for all, by preventing it in the first place. We discovered that cervical cancer was caused by a virus, the HUMAN papillomavirus. The way we discovered the cause of cervical cancer was by studying WOMEN. With a lot less money, and in a lot less time, we now have a cure because we now know WHAT to cure. We need to follow the same path and move breast cancer beyond a cure.

Join today at www.armyofwomen.org.  Together, we can move breast cancer beyond a cure and eradicate it once and for all.

Please watch the following youtube video (that I do not know how to post the right way). And join us in preventing this horrible disease.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JBqNkN5NG4

It Feels SO Good...

To help others. 

Today started with me waking to some pain--more than I've had the past couple of days because I admit to overdoing it a little yesterday.  I'm on a 10 lb or less restriction for lifting and for the first 5 days post surgery Joel was home so he didn't let me lift a finger--at all.  Going back to a normal routine after being pampered, with no adjustments--yeah, I was hurtin' a little.  So that kinda sucked.  The rest of the day was relatively normal, but Jamison was sad when his community center class ended and he didn't want to leave, he was STARVING (in the only way a 2 yr old can starve--dramatically) while at the store for a quick errand, the girls came home with MORE stuff that required me to send in money, homework was a NIGHTMARE tonight & after I cooked dinner I've had both hubby & one child complaining of stomach pains. 

I could've easily decided to go to bed early--cuddle with hubby, catch some TV, rest my aching incisions, etc.  But I knew there were just a couple of calls I could easily squeeze in first--some catching up from last week.  My first call, to someone I've been playing phone tag with for 2 weeks, was the one!   She's the one who made this otherwise sorta-pretty annoying day worth it.  It turned my day around--helping make a change in her life for her & her family, helping her dream & restore the hope to her future, helping her begin a journey that could be the answer to all her prayers.  I love my job.  It feels so good to help others! 

I Am A Mom

I got a card in the mail this week from a friend sending some love & laughter in my recovery...and I wanted to share...

Top 5 Ways you know you are talking to a Mom...

5. She can complete an entire conversation in 1.5 minutes...including hugs & tears.
4.  In the middle of that conversation, she may stop and yell "LOOK!  FIRETRUCK!"
3.  You can't stop staring at the various stains on her shirt.
2.  She has no clue what's happening in the world, but can tell you every detail of her child's bowel movements.
1.  She frequently forgets what she was talking about.

So, this card made me laugh because the truth of this was so real yesterday when I was on the phone with my single, doctor sister.  She was telling me about work and the residents she's working with & the disecting of skin & other tissue samples...and then my turn came telling her what's going on in my world.  My story was about Jamison sitting at the kitchen table drawing with his sister when he screamed "Uh Oh" and as Joel grabbed him to run to the potty a big round turd fell on my kitchen floor.  To which Jackie responds--"That smells like horse poop....and kinda looks big enough to BE horse poop too!" 

Yep, welcome to my world...I am a mom.

Guest Blogger: Jacquelynn Sue Wealer

This is the story my 8 yr old wrote in her new birthday journal last night.  So far she has 3 adventures of these horses, but this one is the beginning where they meet.  I have added some punctuation that she didn't have so you could feel the flow of the story, but all of her spelling is genuine to her writing...Enjoy!

The Advengers of Penny, Mary & Black:  The New Friend

One day Mary was grazing in the field.  She loves to eat! 

 "Hey Mare!" cried Penny, who was trotting near by.  "Why don't we go an adventure?"

"There's a new horse in the barn," said Mary.  She started to graze again.

"Let's go!  Let's go!" shouted Penny.

Well that just ruined my breakfast, thought Mary.  They galloped to the barn.  The new horse was sleek black with a orange rope around his neck.  He bucked and kicked.

"Hi," said Penny.  She started to walk fourth...

"WAIT Penny!" cried Mary.  She stopped Penny.  "He could be dangres"

The horse stopped kicking.  "Sorry," he said.  "I'm just a little nerves.  My name is Black.  What's yours?" 

The girls just stared.  "Your so big!" said Penny. 

"Well, I'm half mustang half I don't no."

"My name is Penny," said Penny. "And this is my friend Mary.  We call her Mare for short."

"You guys have pretty names," said Black. 

"You have a handsome name!" The girls said together!

"Will you do me a favor?" Black asked.

"Sure" said Mary.

"Will you get me out of this stall and try to choo this rope off my neck.  It's killing me!"

Mare started chooing on the rope around his neck and Penny was undoing the lock.  When they finished their tasks, Black jumped in excitement.  "What do you guys want to do?" he asked. 

"We could race each other to the field!" said Penny.

"Great ida!" said Black.  "On your marks, get set, GO!!!"

The End

Angels...

Today I was taking my morning walk and listening to Candy Colburn sing "Pink Warrior."  This is the song that inspired my blog name & my 3day team name--Jenny's Army of Angels.  But this entry is not about me...it's about the angels in my life.

                                                            Let me introduce you to Beth.

Back in June of 2003 I was coming to the end of my first year home with Jackie & knew I had a decision to make about work--either find something to do from home or go back to teaching.  Enter Beth.  I requested info from her from an advertisement online about working from home & she called me up, this complete stranger from PA.  She got me the info & I jumped right in with both feet.  She offered so much support and we became fast friends.  I worked with her for nearly 2 years before I got to even meet her in person.  Before we met, I learned so much about and from her.  She suffered from diabetes from childhood.  Legally blind she could not drive herself and worked from home. After a failed kidney transplant years before we met, she required a shuttle to take her to & from her dialysis treatments 3x's a week.  About a year and 1/2 after we started working together she called me from the hospital to tell me that they were amputating her leg.  That month she advanced her business FROM THE HOSPITAL to the level where our company pays for a new car!  And just a few months later, in April 2005,  I got to meet her for the first time in person.  Beth was recognized that night at our regional business dinner and she asked her hubby to wheel her over the stage in her wheelchair to accept her awards so she wouldn't risk losing her prosthetic leg while trying to walk with it!  I nearly spit my drink across the table when she said that! 

Fast forward another 2 years--we've become the best of friends. She adopted a little girl in between my daughters' ages and we talked parenting, business, husbands, family...every night at 11pm she'd hide in her bedroom closet while her husband slept and we'd share an ice cream sundae over the phone while talking about our day.  The day I found out I had cancer I was alone at the hospital--we truly weren't expecting any bad news.  After calling Joel from the patient room to tell him why I'd be late getting home, Beth was my first phone call in the car--I knew she'd understand.  She said, "We'll get thru this.  What can I do for you?" 

Beth was there through my first diagnosis, surgeries and treatment.  During that time, I actually advanced MY business to the point where I got MY car & she was the one who made the call to tell me with my mentor from the home office.  We celebrated and I got to make the exclusive all expenses paid trip to the home office just 2 months after my final surgery, in February 2007.  When Joel & I checked into our room that first night, there was a box on my bed.  It was a charm bracelet from Beth--engraved with the date of my advancement & my initials.  I never take it off.  I returned from my trip on Saturday.  Monday night she invited me to share with her entire team my experience...she was like a proud momma.  The following Sunday morning her husband called me & gave me the most unexpected news that Beth had passed away overnight.  Only 2 weeks later we found out she'd sent me an angel--we were expecting our 3rd baby in November.  

As Candy's Pink Warrior song says "She's a Pink Warrior...got an Army of Angels marching around with her..."  Not only do I have my team of walking angels and the many angels who support me in so many ways here in my everyday life, but I have my angel Beth up above making life a little easier knowing she's on my side. 

The Other Side...

For the first time in the 15 years we've been together, I was on the other side of the patient/caregiver relationship with my husband.  He's held my hand & endured being called nasty names during my 3 child labors.  He sacrificed a cozy bed at home just so I had some company for 12 full days in the past 3 years during different overnight hospital stays.  He's been my advocate--whether it's insisting to the nurse that I am, in fact, progressing faster in my labor than they think I am, demanding a pillow for my head after a bilateral mastectomy or fighting for appropriate time off from work to help me with my recoveries.  He's pretty much my knight in shining armor, so I had alot to live up to. 

Yesterday, Joey had his vasectomy.  And while I teased him that he would get NO sympathy from me, I admit that I would rather have done it for him.  I just can't stand seeing anyone I love in pain.  So, I was the loving wife who got up at 6:30 am to take my man to his procedure at the National Naval Medical Center.  After sitting in the pre-preop area where we've been together so many hours before (tho in reversed positions & ME complaining of hunger pains), it was finally his turn.  They told me he'd be an hour and 1/2--while the actual procedure was only 20 min, the ER prep requires more time than usual.  I had a nice walk around the base, stopping for some lunch & a quick stroll thru the base exchange.  When I returned to the hospital, it was only a few minutes before I got the call on my cell that he was ready and waiting. 

We didn't make it home until after 2pm.  It had been a long day.  I got him all set with his peas on the couch while he settled in for some football.  My job was to keep the kids away from him, switch out his peas as they started to thaw and make sure he had a fresh beer as needed.  He got a home cooked dinner of meatloaf, mashed potatoes (not even the instant kind--these were the peel, boil & physically MASH kind!), green beans & garlic bread then went to bed with some tylenol with codine to make his night pass smoothly. 

I am happy to report that he's been quite the trooper--so much better than I ever am as HIS patient!  But it's been quite the experience being on the other side...

I learn something new EVERY DAY...

Today has been a learning experience in my house.  I have learned that 2nd graders can be very sensitive & competitive--teaching life lessons is HARD & it's heartwrenching to look at those big blue eyes with the gigantic tears and the only thing I can say is, "Sometimes that's just the way life is."  I learned that a full day of school for a 5 year old is almost too much for her to handle & by the end of even a short week, we're bound to have a meltdown or seven.  And most importantly, I learned that potty training the boy really IS Daddy's job. 

Today I decided that I'm not fighting with our almost 3 year old son to MAKE him sit on the potty--when he's ready, he'll be ready.  I talked to him before his nap, knowing that as soon as I put on his clean pull up he would go poop, and asked him if he likes to go potty in his pants.  He said yes.  I asked him if he wants to wear big boy underwear like his sisters wear big girl panties and he said, "No, I be alright Momma."  He's the third kid...when he shows up at Kindergarten and his friends aren't wearing pullups he'll get the idea and it'll all be good.  BUT, when Joel got home today and I told him his boy hadn't had a poopy yet today, I warned him to listen for him waking from his nap and snag him right away or he'll make his mess and THEN let us know he wants to get up.  And I retreated to my office to do some work.

When I came out awhile later I walked into the living room to find my 2 guys sitting side by side on the couch...Joel with his laptop and Jamison in ONLY a tshirt...watching Oswald.  Now, I know, I know...this is the way A did it with his kid and this is the way J did it with her kid--just let them be naked, they'll learn faster...yeah, yeah, yeah.  But when you walk into your living room and see your 2 year old in all his glory sprawled on your family room COUCH???  Really?  This is the way it goes, huh?  Joel understood my look with no words and just smiled, "See, now he won't be able to poop in his pants!"  To which my immediate response was, "and he better not poop on my COUCH!"  Jamison perked up at the poop talk and chimed in, "no, Momma...you would pank me if I poop on your couch!"  (And let me just add here--for those of you who might be concerned--his "pankings" are mere pats on his backside and nothing to get in a tissy over when they DO happen, so please don't let me mislead you to believing that I beat my children.)  I left the child in his Daddy's care and ran an errand.  Not gone 10 minutes when I get a text that the boy had ASKED to go potty! 

Fast forward about 7 hours--1 breakdown of a sensitive 7 yr old, 1 meltdown of an overtired 5 yr old and 3 trips to the potty ON HIS OWN later, we have had a successful potty night for our almost 3 yr old and everyone is sound asleep in bed.   I am doing everything in my power to get over coming home to seeing him laying BELLY DOWN on my couch in all his bareness & watching him run around the house free as a bird.  I drew the line at dinner--I mean, seriously, he walked up to the dinner table wearing a crown his sister made at school, a tshirt, a beaded necklace & firetruck slippers on his feet (and yes, the light on top lights up when he walks).  He was required to grab shorts, tho he did go commando under them.  BUT, it seems that Daddy is onto something.  Luckily he's home for a few days and can take on this project for himself...it's amazing at my age how many new things you can learn every single day, right in your very own home!  Stay tuned for potty training progress....

Laughter = Health

I got an email today that said recent studies say we need 12 laughs a day just to stay healthy!  So I decided my job is to make you laugh today!  Now, which story is the best to tell?  In trying to decide I remembered another email I got this week telling me to write an entry about my most challenging thing I've encountered this past year and how I overcame it.  I have to say that the past 2 years have been incredibly challenging from a health perspective...here's a couple moments that were both challenging for me & funny now as I look back...

November 2009:  4 days earlier I had undergone an 11 1/2 hour surgery taking tissue from both butt cheeks to create breasts where my implants have been removed.  Joel has spent the 3 nights in the hospital with me and we've just gotten out of the shower where he helped me wash my nappy hair & clean my body--which is a challenge with SIX drains hanging from various areas of my body.  I'm sitting on the chair in the room with a tank top & sweatpants while Joel is safety pinning my drains to my necklace & in walks my doc.  Now, let me just take a moment for those of you who don't know the backstory...Dr. F is a F.I.N.E. looking man.  He played football for Univ. of MD in his college days & he's one of the head plastic surgeons at Johns Hopkins hospital.  Oh, and he loves me.:)  The first time we met him, Joel just came out of the room shaking his head...and I couldn't WAIT to have surgery!  Now, at this particular moment, we've had 2 LONG surgeries together.  And he walks into the room & immediately says, "JEN!  WOW!  Those look GREAT!  Are you wearing a bra?"  To which I reply no.  He comes over, Joel steps back and instantly Dr. F. is feeling, kneading, fondling these VERY LARGE mounds he's created just 4 days earlier...he turns to Joel "Have you felt these Joel?"  And Joey, very uncomfortably says, "Um no, she just had surgery 4 days ago, I don't want to hurt her"  Dr. F. says "NO, you HAVE to feel them!  They feel so REAL!  It's great!  Come feel them!"  All the while, he's still playing with his new creations.  My poor Joey--he's trying to get out of having to feel my new "girls" while still showing respect to the work Dr. F. is so obviously proud of.  Eventually, I assured Dr. F. that he'd get plenty of chances when we got home.  Can you say AKWARD?

March 2010:  As if I hadn't been thru enough medical procedures this year--I'd already had a surgery in Feb, colonoscopy in early March and was scheduled for another surgery in May.  My lil' sis had come to town for a Pathology Conference in DC--she came early to stay with us, then I was to take her downtown on Tues morning for her conference then go back to pick her up on Thurs so she could stay with us the rest of the week.  Tues morning I woke up early with a sharp pain in my lower back.  I thought I'd slept on it wrong and I tried stretching but it kept getting worse and then started to make me nauseated.  By 7am Joel had gone to wake my sister and have her come check it out....you know, she went to Medical School so OF COURSE she can diagnose EVERYTHING!  She loves that.:)  So she came up, tapped on me a bit, asked a few questions and kind of decided it was probably just gas pains, but since it wasn't lightening up she thought we should call the doc.  Since the clinic wasn't open yet, the nurse on call suggested we make a trip to the ER.  Really?  So, Joel called into work, put Jackie on the bus, took Josie to our preschool director's house while my sister threw on her conference clothes w/out a shower and took on the job of driving me to the hospital.  In the meantime, my pain had gotten SO MUCH worse...I had a bucket in the car and was trying to give my sister directions to the hospital.  Now, there's a reason my sister went into pathology for her medical career....the woman, oh how I love her, has a "special" way with people.  And I got to experience her bedside manner first hand.  The whole drive my sister tried to make me laugh--but she wasn't funny.  When we got to the hospital parking lot she flew over the speed bumps, claiming she "didn't see them."  When Joel showed up at the hospital, he asked my sister how I was doing--she says "Um, she's not really in a laughing kind of mood.  So don't try to make her laugh.  She won't think you're funny."  Fast forward to the waiting room after I have been triaged by the nurse & she tells me she suspects this is a kidney stone.  I am bent over moaning in pain--feeling MUCH like I was in labor & my sister is sitting beside me.  I said "WHY?  Why me?  Haven't I been thru enough?!?"  She says, "Well, the cancer at your age was a fluke.  But kidney stones are common for old people.  You're gonna start having the problems old people have now."  SERIOUSLY?  If I hadn't been doubled over in pain with a puke bag in my hand, I would've taken her by her blonde hair & whipped her around my head right there in the waiting room.  Thanks for the comfort, lil' sis.  My mom laughs and says she wishes she'd been a fly on the wall that morning...

So, I guess these both go back to the saying I love best "Laughter is the Best Medicine."  I hope I kept you a bit healthier today.  Have a laugh, or two, on me!:)