I Run For...

Welcome to week 5 of Cancer to 5K training.  Today I had the most challenging workout to date.  My first workout for this program was 20 minutes of 1 min jog/1 min walk.  We progressed to 24 minutes, then 1.5 min jog/1.5 min walk for 24 minutes.  Next was 30 minutes and then 2 min jog/2 min walk.  Saturday Coach Bob told me to make the very last jog interval 3 minutes "just to see what happens."  I am happy to report that I survived it, but it was still a very big struggle for me.  Today was the biggest challenge yet as we moved up to 35 minutes of 2 min jog/2 min walk BUT 3 of those intervals were 3 min jog.  I had only one window of opportunity to fit this workout in today with Joel out of town & the 3 kids to work around.  This morning when I was telling my BFF about the prescribed workout today she laughed at my tone and said "You sound THRILLED!"  I admit--again--that while I'm not a runner at heart, I do not dread these workouts like I worried I might when I first signed up for this.  Honestly, knowing myself, I thought I might even use Joel's tour as an excuse to NOT do them thru April which would throw me off and mean I wouldn't actually run in June's 5K.  To even MY surprise, I have only missed ONE workout in 5 weeks & that was a time issue BEFORE Joel left town!

So...today as I'm going thru this difficult workout & pushing my body to do things it's protesting, my iPod starts playing a song I haven't heard come up in any of my recent workouts, I Run for Life by Melissa Etheridge.

 Have you heard this song?  I can remember listening to it on my computer just weeks after getting my first diagnosis back in 2006.  I cried.  And I thought to myself that while I'll never actually run, these words could still hold true for me.  And here I am--running.  And I'm listening to these words...

It's been years since they told her about it
The darkness her body possessed
And the scars are still there in the mirror
Everyday that she gets herself dressed
Though the pain is miles and miles behind her
And the fear is now a docile beast
If you ask her why she is still running
She'll tell you it makes her complete

[Chorus:]
I run for hope
I run to feel
I run for the truth
For all that is real
I run for your mother, your sister, your wife
I run for you and me, my friend
I run for life

It's a blur since they told me about it
How the darkness had taken its toll
And they cut into my skin and they cut into my body
But they will never get a piece of my soul
And now I'm still learning the lesson
To awake when I hear the call
And if you ask me why I am still running
I'll tell you I run for us all


And someday if they tell you about it
If the darkness knocks on your door
Remember her remember me
We will be running as we have before
Running for answers
Running for more



And my head starts swarming.  My BFF asked me again this morning if I thought I would keep running after the 5K for exercise.  I still couldn't give her an answer.  Coach Bob told me last week that I should not run for a "high" but because I want to or I enjoy it.  And here's the thing.  I don't know yet if I DO enjoy it.  I joined this program to challenge myself--to have a way to be held accountable for doing something beyond my comfort zone.  I have gained weight in the last year that I don't like to talk about & I wanted to get rid of it.  So, do I enjoy it?   That's yet to be determined--I don't dread it so that's a start.:)  But do I want to run?    Though the pain is miles & miles behind me & the fear is now a docile beast, If you ask me why I am running, I'll tell you it makes me complete.  


I walk 60 miles over 3 days to bring awareness to a disease that caused more pain to me & my family than anyone should EVER have to endure.  I don't ever want my beautiful girls--or my son--to experience that worry, dread & fear.  This is the 4th year I am walking for those who lost their battle, those who are still fighting and the survivors who celebrate the victory of winning the fight, especially my survivor sisters-- Wendy, Jen & Hilary.

2008 Washington DC 3 Day--My Biggest Fan

Team Candies for a Cure 2009 Washington DC 3 Day

Me & Hilary at 2010 San Diego 3 Day Walk--Survivors in Pink

But this running?  It's for me.  They cut into my skin & they cut into my body (more times than I like to count), but they never got a piece of my soul.  I am running because I can...for me...because I actually do want to.

Friendship is Clairvoyant

Anonymous

Many of us are fortunate enough to have friends who are a consistent part of our lives throughout all our ups and downs. However, sometimes others we consider friends appear to enter, then depart from our lives for reasons we try to, but don't always, understand. This piece nicely explains the flow of people in and out of our lives.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

Then people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

I had remembered this poem being sent via email some years back & I've thought of it several times this week.  I truly have had friends who fit every category.  Nine years ago, Joel & I moved to the DC area with  a handful of people in town that we knew--our "Michigan Family".  These were exactly that--friends from our years in MI who had also relocated to the DC area in the same time frame as us.  We continue, today, to gather with this same "family" a couple times a year--we've grown by 3 marriages & by 6 child births in the past decade of our friendship, but we're forever bonded.

Auntie L & Baby Jackie:  Fall 2002

Michigan Family Dads Go Camping:  Summer 2007

Michigan Family Hang:  Labor Day 2009

Not long after we moved to town, we became close friends with a fellow horn player & his wife.  Soon we had a whole group of  band friends who affectionately became our "DC Band Family".  In the last 8 years, we've grown by 16 children & had one family move away from the area, another even farther away.  Occasionally the group finds a way back together--last time being the summer of 2009--but fortunately we still get to see bits & pieces of the group from time to time.  And this weekend K & C brought their beautiful family to town for the weekend & stayed with us.  I love nothing more than watching our children play together & staying up till the wee hours of the night sharing stories & laughing after not seeing each other for months.  

Band Family:  Halloween 2005

Band Family:  Zoo 2009

At the same time this weekend my long distance BFF in Texas was attending Joel's concert & meeting him for the very first time in person.  I know they've never had a conversation--never heard each other's voice--before today.  But I also know they knew enough about each other to comfortably chat before.  My two favorite peeps meeting up so many miles away--so very cool!  

My Besties:  C & Hubby

While on the subject of friends, I just can't leave out my college girls--the "clique" who befriended me when I was an innocent freshman, gave me a place to stay in between apartments, made sure I had a proper 21st birthday celebration, stood by my side on my wedding day, called asking for EVERY DETAIL when I had my babies & sent support via the miles during my multiple surgeries.  In my years of knowing these girls, we've all earned our college degrees, had 7 weddings and now have 15.75 babies--the 16th peanut is due next month!  

 

Clique Hang:  Summer 2009

Clique Wedding:  Spring 2010

Friends--Near or Far, Old or New.  This has been a week of reflection on my friendships for various reasons.  No matter where you fit into my life or when, I thank you for all you are/were/will be in my life!  

People come into your life for a reason, season or a lifetime--it's so true!  

Back in the Saddle Again

My Jackie Sue is a pretty amazing little girl--I think I've made my feelings for her pretty clear before.  But, just in case you don't know, she has her own little blog, A Day in the Life of a Cowgirl.  And her stories are impressive enough that my good friend & fellow educator, Mrs. H., decided to use her blog as an inspiration for her first grade class.  This was the message we received last night from her class.

Dear Jackie,
We love your stories! Especially the diary of a sister. It made us all giggle and could relate to it. We want to be writers just like you. After reading your stories today 6 of us wrote stories 3 or more pages long! You inspire us! Write more so we can read your stories. 
Thank you. 
Sincerely,
Mrs. H's First Graders


What a great way to help Jackie start her day today!  She was beaming from ear to ear & let me know she has more stories to post!

Now, I'm a proud Momma.  My girl can write, but she can also find her way around a barn.  For some reason today I decided to come to her horse riding lesson early & watch the end of it.  I haven't been to see her ride in several months.  I was sitting in my car just outside of the arena when I heard her instructor's voice get louder--telling her to sit up straight!  I looked back and the horse Jackie was riding today had been giving her trouble, but now he had taken off to almost a gallop & was practically bucking as he raced around the corner of the arena.  I could tell she was panicked, even from where I was sitting.  After what seemed like 10 minutes, but was actually only a few seconds, the saddle was empty.  I calmly walked around the car & strolled over to her corner of the arena where her instructor was already helping her up to her feet.  My girl was white as a ghost but grinnin' from ear to ear!  Seriously!  Her instructor looked at me with a relieved smile & said "she handled that fall just like I did when I was her age.  She never let go of the reigns!"  After she assured us that nothing was hurt, I was the beaming one when she agreed to get right back into the saddle again and finish her lesson.  Honestly, I don't know what I would've done when I was only 8 years old.  I also don't know what many other kids would've done.  Her instructor told me several times as we were leaving how proud she was at the way she handled herself today.  Yeah, me too!


Experience is not what happens to you.  Experience is what you do with what happens to you. 
--Aldous Huxley

It really is how you react to the situation & my little cowgirl fell off that horse & didn't hesitate once to get right back on the horse again.  What a lesson to be learned.  I would love to take credit for her incredible-ness, but I think she just creates it herself.
 

So to all you reading this, don't be afraid to get back in that saddle again!