Mean Mom

A few weeks ago I was driving with Jackie alone in the car.  She says, "A is my best friend.  And I know we'll be best friends for a long time because neither one of us gets to do things other kids do."

I asked her to give me an example.

She said, "Well, A said she didn't get to have a cell phone until she was 16.  I told her I knew what she meant, even though I know you said I couldn't have one until I'm like 20.  But also other things...she has to eat healthy foods.  Her parents make her go to bed early like we have to.  But I do feel bad for her about one thing.  She's NEVER EVER had soda!  She doesn't even get to have it on vacation at a restaurant!"

We talked about how that just means that her parents must love her a lot to want to make sure she only has good things in her body.  Yeah, Jackie understands as that is how her life is too.

It made me laugh at the time--but also smile.  And I DO hope these girls remain friends for a long time.  Especially since Jackie isn't allowed to date until she's 30!

This conversation immediately came to mind today when I was reading about The Mean Mom Challenge.  Basically it was an article talking about being a responsible parent is sometimes translated into being mean--I'll take it!  Here are 11Ways to be the Meanest Mom Around, taken from iMOM.com.

A mean mom…

1. Tries to get her kids to bed on time on school nights.
2. Limits the amount of caffeine, sugar and processed foods her children consume.
3. Limits the amount of time her kids spend watching TV, playing video games and surfing the net.
4. Is true to her word.  If she says, "You can't watch TV until your room is clean." then you can't watch TV until your room is clean.
5. Knows where her kids are at all times—including her teenagers.
6. Insists on knowing who her kids are hanging out with.
7. Demands that her children show respect to their teachers and other adults.
8. Expects her children to do their best.
9. Screens the movies and music her children want to see and hear. 
10. Disciplines her children, even when it breaks her heart.
11. Knows that being "mean" will benefit her children in the long run.

© 2010 iMOM. All Rights Reserved. Family First, All Pro Dad, iMOM, and Family Minute with Mark Merrill are registered trademarks.

I then asked each of my kids tonight if they thought I was a mean mom.

Jamison:  Yes. Sometimes.  But only when we be bad.

Josie:  NO! (She really wanted me to let her do something I didn't want her doing at the time...so I couldn't get a serious response from her.  Little turkey!)

Jackie:  No. (head tilt and smile) Well....sometimes.  When I don't pay attention or do what I'm supposed to.


The conversation continued with each of them as they agreed that even if I have to get grouchy, it's not because I don't love them.  It's simply because I care about their safety & health.  My kids are geniuses--of course they get it!

But I also plan to print & show them the Meanest Mom Pledge which will be hung in the house somewhere yet to be determined.  I'm not naive enough to believe that my kids will always understand my grouchy is for their own good.  We're not even in double digit ages yet...BUT, I vow to continue to stick to the rules.  And one day they'll thank me.  Right?

And the Answer Is....

I got an email newsletter this week & the subject was "What word describes your marriage?"    And I just can't stop thinking about it.

Actually, I am reminded of a night playing "The Newlywed Game" with friends about 6 years ago.  Do you remember that game?  The wives are asked a question & they write their answer down.  Then the husbands are asked the same question & if you answer the same, you get points.  We were playing with another couple that had been married a tad longer than us, a true newlywed couple & a newly engaged couple.  The question:  What movie title best describes your marriage?  The couple who had only been married a couple of months was the only one to match their answers & get points.
Their answer?  Mission Impossible.

I don't remember what my husband answered--tho I'm sure if I think about it long enough I can remember what he was wearing (I know some of you are NOT surprised about this...).  But I remember my answer:   It's A Wonderful Life.  And I recall there was a round of "awwwwwwwww" that echoed around the room when I reveled my answer.  But this was a time before our health journey that challenged our relationship so deeply to the core over the past 6 years.

The question I have not been able to shake this week is not a movie title, but rather just one word.  In terms of movie titles, I'd have to agree that my answer has not changed.  It is STILL very much a wonderful life.  But what's the word?  How do you describe what we have here on Easy Street in just one little word?  How is it possible that one word can hold all that we have created?  Our 13th wedding anniversary is next month.  We have been a couple for 16 1/2 years.  Last year I attempted to describe the timeline of everything we've encountered in our first 12 years of marriage when I wrote on my man's Facebook wall on our anniversary date.  In short, we've been through a lot.  And like any relationship, we've had our ups & downs.

But, at the end of the day, when I go to bed at night & I reflect on the fights, the tears, the hugs, the smiles, the happiness, the journeys, the pain, the joy, the treasures, the life we have created together...I have to say the one word that describes our marriage is Always.  The thing is...no matter what has happened, is happening, or will happen...our marriage will be.  Always.

My Buddy

Do you remember that doll & the song from the commercial?

Well, I couldn't get this song out of my head after playing outside with my boy last week.  The weather was beautiful so Bubba & I headed outside to play.  And since the girls were at school, he brought his baby, Rex, out to play with him.

Seriously, he could be in a commercial, right?

Bubba taking care of baby Rex.

All babies love to swing.

It can't be helped.  The boy has 2 older sisters.  This is one of his favorite bikes to ride, especially since he can put his baby in the back seat.

I think this could be used as torture down the road, but right now I just love watching him play the role of Daddy with his little Buddy, Rex.  

The Kitchen

Joel & I bought our first house in Michigan in 2000.  It was still decorated as the mother of the previous owner had designed it.  We pulled up ALL of the carpet in the 900 sq ft, 3 bedroom house...we ripped ALL the wallpaper from the walls, the closet doors, the window sills...we painted over the pink/peach/green walls.  We knocked out a wall, built a deck complete with benches & planters and put ceramic tile in the kitchen.  It was a great starter home & we had fun testing out our fixer-upper skills.  I have a complete scrapbook of before/after pictures, if you're interested. :)

My point is that this isn't our first rodeo for DIY projects, but I am over the moon excited about what we've done to our kitchen in our current home.  When we bought this house 7 1/2 years ago, the kitchen had yellow flowered wallpaper on the walls, faux brick linoleum floor, and dark brown cabinets with some 70s style "decorative" hardware that served no practical purpose.  I knew I would need to fix the hot mess when we put our offer on the house, but I was 7 months pregnant with an almost 2 yr old at home so I wasn't in a position to do a ton of work on it.  Then, as you know, next came cancer, another pregnancy with another baby in the house, then another cancer diagnosis, so many years passed before we got serious about making the changes.  

In November 2010 we started with knocking out the wall between the kitchen & the dining room, thanks to a brother-in-law in need of anger therapy.

Brown/white wall is dining room & green is kitchen.  All one room now!
Note the UGLY decorative handles in the middle of the cabinet doors...

We replaced the old faux brick & the carpet from the dining room.

On a budget, I found a beautiful piece of vinyl flooring & we used the driveway to cut it to fit the room exactly.

TA-DA!

Kitchen Complete--Dec 2010:  No more door handles, new floor, no wall, all new lighting fixtures...


So the overall plan was to get rid of the ugly floor & knock out the wall to make it a bigger space for our family of 5.  Mission was accomplished on the budget we had at the time.  BUT...I knew I would eventually want to change those cabinets & counters...so enter KITCHEN UPDATE 2012!!!

I had a "vision" of what I wanted my kitchen to look like...someday.  We played around with some ideas, I googled "counter top redo" and "painting counter tops"--we're still on a budget here & couldn't afford to replace anything.  THEN, I began my relationship with Pinterest.  I will share the details of my secret love affair with this site in a future entry.

I wanted lighter cabinets & we did paint our cabinets in our first home, but if I did white cabinets, then I didn't want white counters.  And painting counters...really?  I also didn't like that little 3D decorative *touch* to my cabinet doors in the middle.  So.....here's what we did....

After we took off all the doors, Joel popped that 3D part off (they were simply nailed on).  Then we bought sheets of wainscoting from the hardware store.  He cut them to fit inside each door.

Then he caulked around the insert, we primed & painted.  Took a trip to hardware store for new handles & our new cabinets were born!

Next challenge was the counter tops.  I first thought about doing this to my counter tops but had a hard time finding a granite design that wouldn't "compete" with my floor.  So instead, I ran across this blogger and decided spray paint was the ticket for me!  

When I explained to Joel what I was going to do, he didn't even bother questioning me--we had this discussion during the first part of the kitchen make-over when I decided I wanted to spray paint our fridge.  Yep, it was white before--now it's black to match all the OTHER black appliances in our kitchen.  It's not flawless, but I cover it with so much junk anyway, it works perfectly for our family!

Cover anything you DON'T want painted & prime the counters.

First couple of coats.

8 cans later--about 5 total coats. 

Adding first clear coat top.

Here's where I have some advice for those who might consider this method.  

#1 We used a stone finish spray paint which gave me EXACTLY the look I wanted, but I had NO idea how much it would take to get the coverage I wanted.  One can did not even come close to putting a full layer on our very small counter top.  It took 8 cans to get our desired look

#2  Just because you're using CLEAR paint doesn't mean it's easy--or unable to mess it up :/  Don't forget to stir before EVERY application.  It WILL leave a foggy look on your counter if it's not stirred & that can make you VERY grouchy.

#3 If you use a stone finish spray and choose NOT to sand between each application of clear coat, don't expect a completely smooth finish.  **Note, we started sanding between coats after the 3rd coat & I don't know that it made a big difference, but we still have some texture after 8 coats & it's PERFECT, just not what we expected.

#4  If you DO get stone spray on anything not meant to be spray painted, wipe it immediately.  While you can touch up over the color, you will have a more difficult time removing the texture if you wait for it to dry.  

5 coats of brown stone paint + 8 coats of clear poly acrylic top coat = beauty!

I also purchased an island--which is a WHOLE different drama in itself, but thanks to the advice of my remote designer, C, I waited until we decided on one to match the paint color for the cabinets.  I think it turned out amazing!

We're waiting one more week to let the clear coat completely cure before we put anything back on the counters, but I was too excited to wait to post the pics.  Let me know what you think!!