Ta-Tas

We recycle & it's Jackie's job to take the recycling bins downstairs when they get full.  Our "bin" for paper goods is a Save the Ta-tas reusable shopping tote.  Last week, Jackie was putting it back into the pantry after emptying it when she asked me, "Mom, what are ta-tas?"  I honestly thought she was joking, but when I asked her to repeat her question she said, with all the seriousness in the world, "What are ta-tas?" and pointed to the bag she was holding.

I said, "Ta-tas are boobs."  She thought about that for a bit, then came back & said "Why do we have to save them?"

Now, if you know my child or follow my blog at all, you know my red headed child is no dummy.  And obviously ta-tas have been talked about a lot in her short 9 year life.  Even with the Save the Ta-tas poker tournaments we've had, all the t-shirts, car magnets, key chains & bracelets we own, she just didn't get why we were saving them.  She was only 3 yrs old when I was diagnosed the first time & had my bilateral mastectomy.  My reconstruction was complete before she was even in Pre-K.  When I was diagnosed the second time & had the numerous reconstructive surgeries, she knew they were operating on my breasts.  She understood that the doctors were taking away the cancer so that I would not get really sick.  She's seen some of my scars and knows that I have had *work* done on them, but for some reason--probably because she's so young (duh, Mom)--she never connected the removal part of my surgeries and that we're saving other women from having to have their breasts taken off their bodies.

So, I start by explaining that when you have cancer in your breasts, like Mommy, sometimes they have to take that cancer out of there.  And depending on the size of the cancer and the size of the breasts, many times they doctors have to cut the whole breast off of the woman's body--like they did for Mommy.  Then, when all the cancer is gone, the doctors can come back and make new breasts using different reconstruction--which is why Mommy has had to have so many surgeries.  We want to save the ta-tas by helping find a way to make the cancer go away so no one else ever has to have their breasts cut off.  So, we're Saving the Ta-tas.

Whew, this is a lot of info for a 9 year old brain.  She thought for a bit...obviously working through in her mind that I actually had my breasts cut off.  And she said that she understood, gave me a hug, told me she loved me & was off on her way.

The next night at dinner, Joel was wearing one if his Ta-tas shirts...

If loving ta-tas is wrong I don't wanna be right.

Jackie read Joel's shirt at the table, looked at me and said, "Now that I know what ta-tas are, I can never look at you the same again, Daddy."

While we got a HUGE chuckle from that, I know that my girl didn't stop thinking about ta-tas that day.  Just last night as we were fixing dinner a commercial came on the radio for the 2012 Washington DC Breast Cancer 3 Day this October.  Jackie asked me how many years I had completed that walk & I told her four.  She knows I'm not walking this year & understands why, but after a few minutes she looks up & says, "Momma, if they still have this walk when I'm old enough, will you maybe walk with me?"  

Absolutely, my little sunshine. 

 I know there will be many things that will become more clear to the girls as they get older about our 5 year journey when they were so young.  And I want to be honest with them when they ask questions.  But, even though I know they'll be very passionate about the cause as they grow, I pray that the walk will no longer be needed by then.