November 2009: 4 days earlier I had undergone an 11 1/2 hour surgery taking tissue from both butt cheeks to create breasts where my implants have been removed. Joel has spent the 3 nights in the hospital with me and we've just gotten out of the shower where he helped me wash my nappy hair & clean my body--which is a challenge with SIX drains hanging from various areas of my body. I'm sitting on the chair in the room with a tank top & sweatpants while Joel is safety pinning my drains to my necklace & in walks my doc. Now, let me just take a moment for those of you who don't know the backstory...Dr. F is a F.I.N.E. looking man. He played football for Univ. of MD in his college days & he's one of the head plastic surgeons at Johns Hopkins hospital. Oh, and he loves me.:) The first time we met him, Joel just came out of the room shaking his head...and I couldn't WAIT to have surgery! Now, at this particular moment, we've had 2 LONG surgeries together. And he walks into the room & immediately says, "JEN! WOW! Those look GREAT! Are you wearing a bra?" To which I reply no. He comes over, Joel steps back and instantly Dr. F. is feeling, kneading, fondling these VERY LARGE mounds he's created just 4 days earlier...he turns to Joel "Have you felt these Joel?" And Joey, very uncomfortably says, "Um no, she just had surgery 4 days ago, I don't want to hurt her" Dr. F. says "NO, you HAVE to feel them! They feel so REAL! It's great! Come feel them!" All the while, he's still playing with his new creations. My poor Joey--he's trying to get out of having to feel my new "girls" while still showing respect to the work Dr. F. is so obviously proud of. Eventually, I assured Dr. F. that he'd get plenty of chances when we got home. Can you say AKWARD?
March 2010: As if I hadn't been thru enough medical procedures this year--I'd already had a surgery in Feb, colonoscopy in early March and was scheduled for another surgery in May. My lil' sis had come to town for a Pathology Conference in DC--she came early to stay with us, then I was to take her downtown on Tues morning for her conference then go back to pick her up on Thurs so she could stay with us the rest of the week. Tues morning I woke up early with a sharp pain in my lower back. I thought I'd slept on it wrong and I tried stretching but it kept getting worse and then started to make me nauseated. By 7am Joel had gone to wake my sister and have her come check it out....you know, she went to Medical School so OF COURSE she can diagnose EVERYTHING! She loves that.:) So she came up, tapped on me a bit, asked a few questions and kind of decided it was probably just gas pains, but since it wasn't lightening up she thought we should call the doc. Since the clinic wasn't open yet, the nurse on call suggested we make a trip to the ER. Really? So, Joel called into work, put Jackie on the bus, took Josie to our preschool director's house while my sister threw on her conference clothes w/out a shower and took on the job of driving me to the hospital. In the meantime, my pain had gotten SO MUCH worse...I had a bucket in the car and was trying to give my sister directions to the hospital. Now, there's a reason my sister went into pathology for her medical career....the woman, oh how I love her, has a "special" way with people. And I got to experience her bedside manner first hand. The whole drive my sister tried to make me laugh--but she wasn't funny. When we got to the hospital parking lot she flew over the speed bumps, claiming she "didn't see them." When Joel showed up at the hospital, he asked my sister how I was doing--she says "Um, she's not really in a laughing kind of mood. So don't try to make her laugh. She won't think you're funny." Fast forward to the waiting room after I have been triaged by the nurse & she tells me she suspects this is a kidney stone. I am bent over moaning in pain--feeling MUCH like I was in labor & my sister is sitting beside me. I said "WHY? Why me? Haven't I been thru enough?!?" She says, "Well, the cancer at your age was a fluke. But kidney stones are common for old people. You're gonna start having the problems old people have now." SERIOUSLY? If I hadn't been doubled over in pain with a puke bag in my hand, I would've taken her by her blonde hair & whipped her around my head right there in the waiting room. Thanks for the comfort, lil' sis. My mom laughs and says she wishes she'd been a fly on the wall that morning...
So, I guess these both go back to the saying I love best "Laughter is the Best Medicine." I hope I kept you a bit healthier today. Have a laugh, or two, on me!:)
No comments:
Post a Comment